This past weekend I spent three days in a conference hall jumping and dancing my heart out with people from all over the world as we connected together over one purpose — to become exceptional throughout all areas of our lives. I attended a live Brendon Burchard personal growth seminar — three days of intense training from one of the very best in the field.
If it sounds like I’m drinking the Kool-Aid, it’s because I am.
The past version of me would hardly recognize me today. Three years ago I might have read personal development books, but I didn’t DO personal development. The teachings were lost on me. A complicated relationship with a beverage was in the way.
Today, I’m obsessed with personal growth. Learning strategies that can vastly improve my life and help others is my jam. So, let me share with you the incredible things I learned!
If you’re not familiar with BB, Brendon Burchard is one of the leading high-performance coaches in the world and has coached Oprah, many presidents, Olympians, and even the Dalai Lama. He’s got multiple bestselling books, multiple million-dollar companies, and strives to make every moment of his life intentional and engaging.
Here are the top 10 things I learned from this high performer:
DON’T WAIT FOR THINGS TO BRING YOU JOY. YOU BRING THE JOY.
How often do we assume that the right working environment, perfect spouse, or things outside of us will finally make us happy? When you look to other people and things to bring you joy, you let things outside of your control hold command of you feeling good. Even with alcohol, it’s so typical to use it to feel fun or confident or pampered. Don’t wait for a beverage to bring you joy. You bring the joy.
YOU HAVE TWO CALLINGS IN LIFE
Brendon shared that we often go through two callings in life. The first one acts like a wakeup call. It’s the call that tells you to get your sh*t together and step up in your life. For many people, it’s the call to stop drinking. Or to get off the couch and get fit. Or go back to school for an MBA. Self-improvement starts you on this path. But then you get a second calling. It’s the one that tells you to live not just a better life, but an extraordinary life. A quest that’s a never-ending journey of fulfillment to become exceptional.
A POWER-PLANT DOESN’T HAVE ENERGY; IT GENERATES IT
I feel boundless more energy since I’ve ditched the booze, but I’m still human and can definitely fall prey to lethargy, laziness, and a case of the “I-don’t-wannas.” Sometimes at the end of the day, I just don’t have much energy. But here’s the flaw in my thinking. Power-plants don’t have energy — a characteristic imbued onto them by the universe. They generate energy. And humans are the same. There are daily and hourly practices that we can all do to generate full-day energy. Like the next tip.
INCORPORATE STRATEGIC RESETS
This is a game changer for me. Instead of go-go-go all day, Brendon incorporates a ritual for every fifty minutes of work. He sits down, sets a timer for 50 minutes, and when it goes off, he stops working no matter what. He gets up, does a set of qigong exercises, does some breath work, and gets a glass of water to drink. Then, he activates his mind by focusing on the intention he needs to have for the next hour and imagines how he wants to feel. With his body re-energized and mind activated, he gets back to work and repeats this every 50 minutes. The end result is energy at 6 pm, feeling connected to the mission, and not feeling burnout or disengaged or needing a drink to take the edge off.
BEING DISTRACTED AND BURNT OUT LEADS TO DISENGAGEMENT WITH PEOPLE
One of my favorite things about this seminar was not just it’s focus on how to be successful, but how to have meaningful engaged relationships with other people. Open, attentive, serving, engaged, loving are not always the words I would use to describe every interaction I have with other human beings. And it’s because we’re so burnt out and distracted by all the to-dos on our lists. Throw hangovers in the mix and its no wonder we feel disconnected as a society. Take time to do the strategic resets and it will change your relationships too.
PRACTICES VERSUS PERSON-HOOD
Don’t let yourself be defined by the times you feel like you’ve failed yourself, especially around changing your drinking. Your habits or slips are not you who are. They are just your practices. When you don’t measure up to how you wanted to, stop blaming yourself. Stop blaming your person-hood, and get curious instead to re-evaluate your practices. Drinking isn’t who you are, it’s just an unhealthy pattern. When you fail in any area of your life, don’t blame yourself. Look curiously into your practices and then change them.
STOP BEING SO CASUAL ABOUT YOUR LIFE
So often we coast through life on “good enough.” I was stuck in this middle-lane mediocrity for years. My life was just “good enough,” so I didn’t really think I needed to change or do better. Mediocrity is the thing of regrets when you think back to what you could have done and the dreams you could have actualized. Stop being so casual about your life. Stop being so casual about your daily routine. Stop beings so casual about your marriage. Stop being so casual about your relationships. And stop being so casual about your dreams.
WHAT QUESTIONS WILL YOU ASK AT THE END?
When Brendon was in his early 20s, he got in a bad car accident in the Caribbean where he thought he was going to die. In the moments when his life flashed before his eyes, he asked three simple questions to evaluate his life. Did he live? Did he love? Did he matter? From that moment, he changed his life so he could answer those questions proudly. Which begs the question, what are your questions for the end of your life? What will you evaluate yourself on?
WHO NEEDS YOU TO BE A ROLE MODEL?
Changing is hard. Living your “best life” isn’t always easy. But it’s also so much bigger than you. One of the best ways to have more motivation is to give motivation away. Meaning motivating others helps you be motivated. Asking yourself, who needs me to be a role model today? If I were being a better role model, what would I change?
GOD DOESN’T CALL THE QUALIFIED
You might not think you’re smart enough, or have the right skills, or the know-how to go after your biggest dreams. You might not think you’re ready, or even worthy enough to go after them in the first place. I know I had a big case of the “who am I??” syndrome when I first started. But “God doesn’t call the qualified. He qualifies the called.” Meaning making action on your dreams is what qualifies you to go after them.
I hope these were motivating to you! I could have literally written 50 things I learned from Brendon Burchard because the seminar was so valuable and I can’t wait to implement what I learned in my own life and help guide others to do the same.
If you’d like some help to stop drinking and create the alcohol-life of your dreams, click here for details on my online course.