Healthy Narcissism is the capacity to feel positive about oneself when you look in a reflection of yourself in a pool of water or mirror. You give oneself affirmations, and feeling proud of what you do. It’s a kind of unconditional love. This is compared to unhealthy narcissism where others are objectified and empathy is minimal.

Narcissism is about self-love. It is often used in a negative way when other people are objectified, manipulated, and viewed with little empathy. This is unhealthy narcissism.

But healthy narcissism is essential to your well-being and positive mental health. It means you reach toward your ideals as a guide toward who you want to become. This build self-esteem and a healthy self-image.

Here are some hints toward establishing healthy narcissism:

1. Focus on how you feel on the inside, not how you look on the outside.

2. Establish your own identity, not what others expect of you.

3. Feel proud when you reach your goals rather than minimizing them thinking only about what more you could have accomplished.

4. Set out to achieve your aims and accept your strengths and weaknesses. See your weaknesses as a challenge, not something negative to raise doubts about your self-worth.

5. Give yourself affirmations which means tell yourself what makes you feel self-assured and confident. Build your self-image by continuing this on a daily basis.

6. Look at yourself in the mirror and even out loud tell yourself what you like about yourself. Breathe deeply and let these encouraging and optimistic thoughts fill you up with pleasure about yourself.

7. At the center of unhealthy narcissism is egotistical preoccupation with self especially one’s view of success as one thinks other’s perceive them. But Some amount of basic narcissism is healthy because it is a means of responsibly taking care of oneself.

8. Narcissism if it is extreme and unhealthy means that a person is totally absorbed in one self. The healthy narcissist looks to be kind to others for which you feel proud of yourself. This means that you are not only kind to others, however, but also kind to yourself.

9. Allow yourself to have imperfections and continue to like yourself. The unhealthy narcissist is grandiose, only satisfied when they see themselves above others. The healthy narcissist looks to others to learn from to strengthen their attributes not dismiss them as insufficient.

10 In general, encourage and allow yourself to have a wide range of feelings that permit you to understand the feelings of others. Be careful not to project your negative feelings about yourself on to others and then treat them badly. This is unhealthy narcissism.

11.Instead see that sometimes even healthy people feel badly about themselves but then seek to find ways to modify those feelings by doing things that feel productive and satisfying.

12. Giving of yourself to others and feeling delighted with their responses is healthy and gives one strength to continue to share your abilities with others.

Narcissism is often given a bad rap. But now that you know it is a healthy way to care for yourself, be responsible for your mental health, and genuinely look to grow and strengthen your self-image, you can see the healthy side of this trait.

Laurie Hollman, Ph.D., is a psychoanalyst and author of Unlocking Parental Intelligence: Finding Meaning in Your Child’s Behavior found on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Familius and wherever books are sold. Visit Laurie’s website at http://lauriehollmanphd.com.

Originally published at medium.com