On the very first day of my very first job Mrs Donaldson, the cake shop owner, matter-of-factly informed me that my name would be changed to Sandy because there was already a Cassie working at the bakery. It was clear that I did not have any say in this decision or my new name.
I remember feeling slightly upset that my much-anticipated initiation into the world of work required me to change my name. But without even a hint of quibble, I diligently complied.
At the tender age of 15, I had no idea that I would spend the next three decades of my career trying to figure who the heck I was – often feeling pressured to be someone else.
Over the course of my global leadership career, and through my work as a Thrive Global coach, facilitator, and leadership trainer I have observed first-hand any individuals and organizations experiencing this same disconnection from self.
My key learning from these experiences is that our individual and collective success and vitality flows from remaining connected to the truth of who we are.
Self-fidelity is the practice of being faithful to our true nature. It is a practice that I have honed during the three decades I have spent working in a world that has been trying to convince me that I need to change who I am in order to fit in and be enough.
My book Self-Fidelity synthesizes and shares all I have learnt. Self-Fidelity offers a broad range of practical, powerful tools that supports us to remember and reconnect to the truth of who we are. It draws from a diverse range of disciplines, including neuroplasticity, the science of play, systems thinking and the wisdom of contemplative traditions.
The four core practices of self-fidelity are; WAKING UP, LETTING BE, LETTING GO and LETTING IN.
- WAKING UP is about over-riding auto-pilot
- LETTING BE is about remembering and reconnecting the truth of who we are
- LETTING GO is about breaking free of the things that weigh us down
- LETTING IN is about absorbing the nourishment we need to lift
Whether you are a coach who wants to better support your clients, a mid-level manager who has lost their mojo or wants to support their team to transition back into the workplace next year, or a senior executive looking to revitalize culture and boost performance – the practice of self-fidelity will support you to thrive at work and in life.
Someone recently said to me “I didn’t not know it – but this is the book I have been waiting for. Why haven’t we thought of the concept of self-fidelity before?”. Several readers have experienced tears of relief.
I continued to work at the cake shop throughout high-school and university. The money I made paid for my first car. I never did meet the ‘other Cassie’. Later, I wondered if my name-changing initiation on my first day of work was a test of my malleability or perhaps some form of unconventional compliance training. I will never know.
Self-Fidelity is the book I wish I’d had when I started work at that cake shop all those years ago. It would have given me the courage to tell Mrs Donaldson that if she could handle eight different types of buns, she could probably handle two different Cassie’s.
My big aspiration is to see the term self-fidelity added to the dictionary in my lifetime and for millions more people to benefit from the understanding that in a world that teaches us to conform, we all need a strong practice to remain faithful to the truth of who we are.
Buy your copy of Self-Fidelity here.
Learn more about the practice of self-fidelity here.