In my experience as a divorce attorney, I have found that when a marriage is dissolved through divorce, it is a difficult decision that should not be made lightly. This is even more complicated when there are children involved. Over the years, especially during the pandemic, divorce cases have risen. It’s important to remember that the effects on children can be felt for years to come. In my experience, when children are involved, I have found that it is best to consider how you will break the news to them, work together, and find a mental health professional to help with this transition.

1.Breaking the News

Children are very observant and may notice something is “off” between their parents. But, they may not understand what is actually going on, what divorce is, nor how it will affect their life.  Many times, couples go back and forth on the decision to get a divorce because they are considering their children’s needs.

They may ask questions such as, “Will we still live together? Will I have to move? What about my school? Will I ever see my friends again?” You may not have the answers to all these questions, but being prepared may help ease the conversation.

2.Work Together

Divorce is not easy, even under the best conditions. This can be more complicated when the relationship is strained or has turned toxic. In this situation, it can have a negative effect on your children. The desire to point out others’ mistakes and shortcomings may be strong, however, in my opinion, the best option is to show restraint and set a positive example for your children. 

3.The Right Lawyer

As the number of divorce cases has risen, so has the number of divorce and family lawyers available to represent you. In my experience, in Bergen County, NJ, and Monmouth County, NJ (where I practice), there are plenty of great divorce lawyers and family lawyers to help represent you and your family (I imagine this to be true in many other parts of this country as well). Many questions arise that need to be answered during a divorce that will have a direct effect on your child. Often, the largest being custody and visitation of your child after the divorce. Who will your child live with? What are the arrangements for visitation? Are there restrictions on visiting rights? There is also the question of child support. How much, if any, support will be provided to the parent raising the child? These are all difficult questions to answer. But, the right family lawyer can help ease the process. Selecting the top family lawyer to navigate your situation is one of the most important choices you can make, and you should research top divorce lawyers and select a divorce attorney that meets your criteria.


This article contains general information and opinions from Sheena Burke Williams and is not intended to be a source of legal advice for any purpose. No reader of this article should act or refrain from acting on the basis of information included in this article without seeking legal advice of counsel. Sheena Burke Williams expressly disclaims all liability with respect to actions taken or not taken based on any content in this article.