Your environment, those you spend the most time with, impacts your life, more than anything else. Studies have shown the people you associate with have a bigger impact on your level of success than your college education.

It’s obvious. Look around. If you spend time around athletes, you probably workout regularly and value nutrition. If everyone in your office smokes cigarettes, it’s likely you will smoke too. If your inner circle is full of business owners, it’s likely you enjoy business conversations and have a business mindset. If your friends spend a lot of time at bars, it’s likely you’re a frequent patron as well.

If you are unhappy with the results you are getting in life start by looking at your environment. It doesn’t matter if you are a teenager living with your parents, you can still have control over impacting your environment.

You can begin to change what you watch on TV or YouTube. You can watch training videos and educational formats. You can begin to read books from people you admire. You can begin to change your mindset. If you cannot choose different friends or a different inner circle, you can choose to start changing your thinking. As you begin to think differently, you will begin to act differently. Your change in actions will begin to draw different people into your life.

For the biggest positive impact in your life, instead of focusing on what you need, focus on who you need to become, to attract the right people into your life. To attract the right people, you must become an attractive person.

Prior to sharing three ways to begin or strengthen your attraction, I want to remind you that giving starts the receiving process. What you give to the universe comes back to you exponentially.  When you give recognition, you will begin to receive recognition. When you are kind to others, you will receive kindness. When you show appreciation, people will appreciate you. The more smiles you give, the more smiles you will receive. The examples are endless.

The first way to become an attractive person is to help others feel seen. Over the past year, feelings of isolation, wearing of masks, and individuals sensing avoidance as people step away when passing each other on the sidewalk, there is no time like the present to help others feel seen!

This can be as simple as making eye contact and saying hello. Using people’s names is another way of helping them to feel seen. Letting someone merge in front of you, letting someone take the parking spot, opening a door, and other acts of kindness are signs you are seeing a person and valuing them as human beings. 

The second way to become an attractive person is to help others feel heard. This is hard for many people because it requires listening. Intentional listening is a skill that can be developed and improved upon. It requires no interrupting. It requires no judging. It requires not trying to figure out what the other person is going to say. It requires not thinking about your response while the other person is talking.

Oftentimes, when you become a good listener, you’ll find people seeking you out, because good listeners are hard to find! A good listener doesn’t have to have the answers. Many times, individuals aren’t seeking answers, they simply want to be heard. They are looking for a sounding board. A good listener may need time to think about a response because the focus was entirely on listening and not responding.

The third way to become an attractive person is to help others feel understood. More often than not, individuals want to be understood before they want to understand. Learn to be the exception! Seek first to understand before trying to be understood. When you help others to feel understood first, they know you genuinely care about them. 

It is only when you can understand someone first, when they feel understood, will the conversation develop, the relationship grow, and desired results achieved.

It is through these three ways that you begin to add value to others. You cannot add value to others until you value them first. Each of these ways show you value people. As you give value to others, others will value you even more.

As we value one another, our environment will continue to grow and strengthen. We will attract more people just like us. When everyone feels seen, heard, and understood, the ingredients are present to grow love, compassion, and empathy.

Starting today, practice these three ways until they become habits. You will soon discover you are attracting like-minded, caring people into your environment. Keep in mind, the greatest accomplishments started with simple acts.

Be sure to acknowledge everyone you cross paths with, making eye contact and saying hello. In each conversation, spend more time listening and seek first to understand, ensuring others feel heard and understood. The more value you add to others, the more they will value you!

Remember, there is greatness within you. You must choose greatness. It won’t develop on its own. I believe in you!

“When you partner with the right people, it makes all the difference in the world.”

Take Action Today!

If you would like assistance with improving your environment, I can help you. We can meet by phone, on Zoom, or in a place you deem safe with social distancing. Whether you choose me or someone else, a coach will expedite your results.

If you found value in this article, please like and share. You never know who else in your network may find it valuable. Thank you!

I appreciate you. I know your time is limited and I hope you receive value in reading my posts. 

I also invite you to connect with me. You can connect with me on LinkedIn, by email at  [email protected]  or through my website at Thank you!  

I always look forward to your thoughts and replies.

Image by Naassom Azevedo from

Published by Bryan M. Balch, Results Coach

Helping Individuals and Businesses Achieve Desired Results

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