Dealing with your painful failures will allow you to attract and create more success in your life.

I used to hate pain until I realized why pain even exists, pain:

1) Is an indication that something is not right with you.

2) Can help you to pin-point any problem areas you have to work on.

When you’re dealing with pain, it can be something which is challenging you, terrifying you or just something that you just can’t seem to shake off of your life.

Maybe you made some bad decisions in your life and now you are dealing with pain and you feel like you’re failing because of what you did or did not do.

Maybe you’re right, you could have done better, but you didn’t, and spending the next 10 years whining and beating yourself up won’t change anything.

The only thing that will help get you out of a cycle of emotional pain with all its bi-products, is change, and here are 3 ways on how to do this.

1.  Forgive yourself

You’re only human, you’re not some perfected algorithm or Salma Hayek, so don’t be so hard on yourself. If you knew better then you would’ve done better, but you didn’t and that’s just how life goes sometimes.

Did you know that you are the superhero of your own life? And that you’re basically allowing a bunch of villains (problems) to run around and mess up your city? They cannot be effectively defeated if you’re blaming and hating yourself for all the destruction in your life.

Release your self-judgement and the pain you’re harboring as a means of subconsciously punishing yourself for your past decisions and actions.

2. Confront your problem

Maybe you have been running away from your pain by ignoring it or by indulging in things which shift your focus from your pain to something else stronger than your pain like, pornography, drugs and others.

You know just as well as I do, that until you confront this head-on, it ain’t going nowhere!

Change the narrative of your story, stop running away as if you’re powerless and start running towards your problem as if you’re stronger than it, because you are.

The change you need and desire, sits on the heads of all your problems, you’ll have to defeat each problem in order to create real change in your life.

3. Study your pain

It’s easier to fight and win against an opponent whose moves you already know and can predict. You need to revisit your failures, and ask yourself some very uncomfortable questions such as “could I have handled this better?”.

You need to know the warning signs, you need to sponge up all the wisdom you’ve gained because of your pain and use it against your pain.

Maybe you won’t win the fight the first time around, but if you can keep getting back up, forgiving yourself, confronting your problems and learning from your failures, then you’ll inevitably win.

Nothing worthwhile is ever easy, but it’s always worth it in the end.