What you feel and see about yourself will definitely radiate back to your environment and that determines how people treat you. If you place no value on yourself, do not expect to get it from anyone else. People will only reciprocate what you bring to the plate.
How to improve your self-esteem
1. Accept your personality
The first step in attaining formidable self-esteem is realising that no two individuals are the same.
You must come to the realisation that everyone has unique personalities and character that distinguishes them from the rest of the world, and you’re no exception.
Your personality is your distinctive mark. It sets you apart from the park and creates what makes you special. To grab hold of a good self-esteem, you must learn to accept and appreciate yourself with all your flaws and faults.
Do not see your personality as inferior to anyone’s neither should you think there’s something not right with you because you behave differently from the others. Embrace your uniqueness and rather than trying to be like someone else, be the best you there can be.
2. Focus on your strength
Many people are fond of counting their mistakes and inadequacies. They spend time ruminating on all the things wrong with them and the things they can’t do.
Apart from this having a great toll on self-esteem, this also drains a lot of mental energy and creates a reality they’ve imagined. They end up being sloppy and create for themselves a life they’d want to escape from.
To attain and maintain a good level of self-esteem, it’s of utmost importance that you realise that trying to attain perfection is a lost cause. Rather than focusing on the wrong things and the things you can’t do, focus and concentrate your thoughts on the things you can do.
Take out a pen and piece of paper and begin writing down all the things you can do. It doesn’t have to be grand or big, it could be the simplest of things that don’t require any extra effort from you. You’d be surprised by the many people who can’t do the things you’ve written down.
Now focus your mind on those things you’ve written. Think of ways you can better amplify those skills and commit yourself a few minutes/hours every day to develop yourself on each of them.
3. Avoid self pre-occupation
Most people think the world revolves around them and feel people are concerned enough to observe their life. Nothing could further be from the truth.
Get off your head and realise that people are too engrossed in trying to fix their lives than sparing you a fraction of their day in thinking about you.
So you made a mistake at work or said something you ought not to have said at the meeting and everyone laughed, then you spend the entire day thinking about how you’ve embarrassed yourself.
Well, guess what? People probably forgot about your silly embarrassment the moment it happened and still probably won’t remember tomorrow.
4. Don’t compare yourself with others
When you keep looking to find things people can do better than you, trust me, you’d find many!
The key is not to look at all. While it’s good to appreciate people for their skills, it’s wrong to judge yourself based on their ability.
Rather than finding all the things people can do, divert that energy in improving yourself and realise that there are things you can do that no one else can.
5. Dress properly
Dressing properly doesn’t necessarily mean putting on expensive apparels and clothing. It simply means putting on something that you’re comfortable with.
When you feel you look good, this feeling will make you more confident and less self-conscious.
6. Continuously improve yourself
Personal development should be a daily routine everyone should engage in. It’s the only difference between where you are and where you want to be.
Do not just wake up and browse through the day without a definite goal. Set up a task for the day that you’ll like to work on about yourself.
Just the way I stated in number 2 about writing down your strengths, also writes down the aspect of your life that you’re not comfortable with that you’d like to see improvements. Then make long and short term goals to actualise this.
7. Speak with random people.
While socialisation and getting to meet new people might be a bane to introverts, it’s a very powerful inspiration for building good self-esteem if harnessed properly.
The most difficult part of meeting with new people is the problem with not knowing what to say. But that shouldn’t be an issue as it isn’t your job to figure out everything. Just go with the flow and do not try too hard to impress the person you’re speaking with.
Speaking with random people which includes asking for guidance or directions can help train you for unexpected situations or circumstances.
When you get uncomfortable or shy to speak with someone new, always ask yourself… “what’s the worst that can happen if I do?”
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