In no particular order, these 9 lessons continue to pop up in my work as a therapist. No matter who the person is, no matter what the situation is, there are some things that remain true no matter what:

1. People will rarely tell others that they’re scared at first, they express their fears in other ways.

2. Most communication happens without words.

3. Real laughter heals.

4. Silence is often a microphone for your instincts.

5. Receiving is really hard for some people.

6. Everyone has something they need to grieve for.

7. Love is incredibly durable, trust is incredibly fragile.

8. Intentions are critical, but they’re not enough on their own.

9. Vulnerability, letting yourself be seen and heard, is the single most powerful force in human connection.

Originally published at

Originally published at


  • Katherine Schafler

    NYC-based psychotherapist, writer and speaker.

    Katherine earned her Bachelor’s degree in psychology at UC Berkeley before obtaining two Masters from Columbia University, one focused on clinical assessment and the other on psychological counseling. Additionally, she completed post-graduate training and certification at the Association for Spirituality and Psychotherapy in NYC.