When life serves up great agony—when we’re hit with unimaginable crisis—how do we meet the moment? Do we collapse in fear, or do we rise and act? How do we process the panic? And how do we persevere against all odds? Those questions led me to write We All Worry, Now What? The lessons on these pages reflect my six decade path, complete with the crooked and the messy parts, as well as its obstacles and triumphs. It’s how I’ve gone from paralyzed by fear and trembling in the dark to facing what scares me and forging ahead. It’s how I still, even now, overcome negative self-talk and break the cycle of endless rumination. In my life and in this volume, I call that process the Warrior Walk, the road from intense panic to a sense of peace. I share my experiences not to garner pity or earn gold in the trauma Olympics, but rather as evidence of what is possible.
As a recovering Nervous Nellie, I’m the unlikeliest of warriors. Back in the eighties, as I was mixing up makeup formulas in my garage and launching my makeup brand, if someone had told me I’d one day be courageous enough to join and maybe even lead this conversation—or, for that matter, that I’d build and lead a medical research foundation on the heels of my daughter’s life-threatening diagnosis—I would’ve said, “Really? Because I make lip gloss for a living.” And yet I’ve somehow gone from high-school dropout to makeup mogul, from mom on a mission to mastermind of a movement.
At every turn, I’ve challenged the status quo. And in so doing, I’ve experienced shaky hands and a racing heart. I know what it’s like to feel detached from your body, to be held captive by your own nervous system. I know how it feels to lie awake, taking inventory of all the things that can go wrong, and all the variables that might come into play. I’ve sensed my chest tightening dozens of times, felt my breathing grow shallow as the room spun. I’ve also recognized how my worry has so consumed me that it impacted the people I love. If learning to navigate worry can happen for me, then it can also be your story. My journey isn’t just proof that we can separate ourselves from the panic. It’s also a testament to the capacity we have for resilience. I’m not certain of much in this life, but I am convinced of that.
The Warrior Walk has five steps. These stages aren’t based on research from some scholarly journal or created as a gimmick to sell a book. They’re ripped from the headlines of my life. They’re based on the raw, the real, and the deeply personal. I’m not some guru looking down from my high perch, delivering platitudes and sermons. Like you, I am a worrier by day, and often by night, someone with as much to learn as to share. I’m working my program like it’s AA—a step at a time. We All Worry, Now What? is my hard-won wisdom in written form, complete with all the comebacks and setbacks along that road. It’s a framework that I’ve both identified and actually lived. That’s why I know it works. And that’s why, at a season of my life when I could just sit back and enjoy the material comforts my success has afforded me, I am passionate about sharing this message.
Excerpt From We All Worry, Now What? by Victoria Jackson, Melcher Media Inc
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