How’s your holiday season going? Ready for the New Year? Are you feeling happy and content and ready to move forward? Or are you struggling this week and feeling like the holidays were less than you expected or deserved? Are you feeling like life could be better for you? Are you saying, “if only this” or “if only that”, then my life would be so much better? Hold on…I have some thoughts for you!

Holidays, end of year, the advent of the New Year, causes much reflection for many. But, how we reflect and how we view things, can make a world of difference in our mood and well-being. Our expectations of ourselves and others can cause problems particularly during the holidays.

What does make people happy? Who are those who seem to have flawless and wonderful holidays? You know, those who come back to work after the busy season glowing, rested and content? I think it is about accountability. Rather than expecting others to make us happy, we take responsibility for our own lives. We live our value system, and reflect on personal self-improvement. Benjamin Franklin brilliantly stated, “The constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.”

If you are needing a “pick me up” from the blues or you are feeling like the season did not meet your expectations… here are five things to seriously consider that you can actually control.

  1. Instead of asking what others did for you this holiday, ask yourself if you felt good in your own giving and loving. If not, be determined to improve this in the New Year. If so, allow yourself to take credit and be proud of yourself!
  2. Instead of reflecting on how the people around you acted or reacted, reflect on your own mood and presence and how you are making a difference for those you love just by being you. Consider how important it is for you to be authentic and real and how much others appreciate that.
  3. Don’t compare and contrast to everyone around you. Live in your world and appreciate where you are in your own development. If you want your life to improve, set goals and work towards what you want but don’t beat yourself up if you aren’t there yet.
  4. If you come from a dysfunctional family, embrace what you can learn from it, focus on what you want to do different in your life, work on recovery for yourself, and know that you get to control your own mood and well-being.
  5. If you are viewing the world around you as disappointing because of things like the election, or violence, or child abuse, or on and on… (there’s a lot of sadness in the world), consider how you can make the world a better place by one kind act after another. Take on causes that you care about and do something to help. Every one of us can make a difference in our own way.

If we want our lives and the world to be a better place, it is up to us to make it so. Living each day by your personal value system will make you feel the best you can possibly feel. We each have our unique path and destiny and we get to control it. Our own integrity and who we are personally changes the course in everything that we do. Take your gifts and talents and be the best you can be. Then share YOU with the world and those around you. Be accountable, sanity matters! Make it a Happy New Year!

Additional Resources by the Author


Published Books + Audio Versions:

Will I Ever Be Free of You? How to Navigate a High-Conflict Divorce from a Narcissist, and Heal Your Family.

Will I Ever Be Free of You? How to Navigate a High-Conflict Divorce from a Narcissist, and Heal Your Family Audio Version

Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers.

Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers Audio Version


Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers Virtual Workshop. Work recovery in the privacy of your own home, complete with video presentations and homework assignments.

Therapist Training for Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers. Share the 5-Step recovery model with your clients.


Small group therapy intensives.
 (2 sessions scheduled in 2017! February 11 & 12 and April 22 & 23)

Daughter & Son weekend intensives. One on one sessions with Dr. Karyl McBride.

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