When I was young, I thought of myself as a rich little girl.
Why?
Because I saved.
Whenever I got money from the tooth fairy, I put it right into my piggy bank. I would do weekly dives into the couch cushions to collect spare change. And then when my dad wasn’t looking, I would sometimes sneak into his sock drawer and collect the loose change that he had casually tossed aside.
I grew up on the importance of saving money. In fact, I barely remember actually saving for a particular item or activity, I just liked having money. I loved going to the Coinstar machine in the neighborhood Ralphs store with my Ziploc bag full of loose coins. It felt good to hear the change pour out of my bag and hit the metal bin, sliding down into the pipe where it would be counted. And then I would wait anxiously for a little piece of paper to print out and tell me how much change I could convert into cash. I can even remember the copper smells and hoping that I had collected more quarters than pennies.
Fast forward to my life abroad; in my first year I had way more expenses than I expected. And when my employer was late on paying me, I had to pay rent, and the internet bill, and my phone bill, and oh yeah, buy food… My savings went from 4 digits to 3, then 2, then one. Then, none! My stomach cringes a little while writing this.
But that moment made me realize something… my savings are only as good as the next crisis. Meaning my savings account existed for a purpose: to be used when I needed it, and then to be built back up when I was financially able to do so. And then I would be ready for the next turn of events.
Next in the story of disappearing savings. One of my good friends told me how she accidentally spent her entire savings. She had paid a down payment on a camping site, a beautiful natural reserve, and one of only a few available options with not many places open due to COVID. She thought, and probably any other person would have thought the same, Okay, they probably won’t run my credit for the full amount until things start to open up. She was wrong, however. She woke up and the entire reservation amount had been charged, leaving her account drained. But here’s the even more shocking part. When I spoke to her, she was completely calm. She admitted to being a little bit panicked in the beginning, but she realized that although the charge was unexpected, she still had everything she needed to take care of herself and her son.
Next chapter on disappearing savings. Another friend told me how she was making mortgage payments (or something like that, I can’t quite remember) and one day her loan officer told her that the total amount was due. The only way she could come up with this amount was by using her savings to pay for it. So, she did. She was shocked at first, but then she felt relief, realizing that she’d just freed herself from debt.
For both of my friends, instead of dwelling on the loss, they looked at what they gained and they appreciated what they had in that moment.
These two examples show how fragile savings can be. Yet many of us have been conditioned to hold on to our money as if it is our actual life force. That if we spend even a portion of our savings it’s like we are cutting off our oxygen supply.
Nothing stays still. Everything is flowing in some way, shape, or form. And whatever flows out can always flow back in. The problem is if we rely too much on our savings for comfort, and one day we have to spend it, what’s next? Do we suffer because we can’t bear to spend it? Or can we spend it knowing that we can earn the same amount back and double it?
So now I ask you, do you feel like you have a healthy relationship with your savings or do you feel like you’re kind of hoarding your dollars? Here are 3 questions to ask yourself to gain some clarity:
- If my savings were to go away today, how would I feel?
- What am I really saving for? Am I saving for my actual security, like if I lose my job or have to pay medical bills? Or am I saving for emotional security?
- When’s the last time I saved some money and spent it on myself?
Commen and tell me if you are saving in a healthy way or if you are hoarding? Remember, my inbox is a safe space.