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Are You Stuck in the Permission Gap?

I’ve always wanted to…..? I’ve stopped myself because…..? What I needed was……? We all have things that we want to do, dream of doing, or secretly long for. But a lot of those things, big or small, never see the light of day. Take a moment and think about your answer to these questions. Just … Continued

Megan Dalla-Camina

4 Min Read

I’ve always wanted to…..?

I’ve stopped myself because…..?

What I needed was……?

We all have things that we want to do, dream of doing, or secretly long for. But a lot of those things, big or small, never see the light of day. Take a moment and think about your answer to these questions. Just one minute. Go on, I’ll wait.

I’ve always wanted to…..?

I’ve stopped myself because…..?

What I needed was……?

This right here is what I call:

The Permission Gap: that gap between the things we’ve always wanted to do, and the things we’ve actually done. 

There are typically three reasons we get stuck from moving forward with the things we really want:

  1. We need someone to tell us that it’s going to be okay.
  2. We need support for our choices so we know we aren’t totally crazy.
  3. We want someone to stop us because it’s generally easier not to jump.

We want to be validated. We need to be validated. We want to know we are going to be safe, that it’s all going to work out. That our world won’t fail apart. That we won’t, God forbid, fail.

Here are some common desires that can put women firmly in the permission gap (myself included):

Quit a job

Start a business

Go for a promotion

Ask for a pay rise

Leave a relationship

Be more creative

Lead authentically

Write a book

Ask for more support

Start a side hustle

Completely change careers

Speak the truth

Be more real

We get lured into the permission gap by our stories. Not our real stories. Not the truth. But the stories we tell ourselves about what will happen if we show up, act, be ourselves, take a risk, or just do what we really want to do.

Perhaps some of these stories will sound familiar:

People won’t like it

People won’t like me

It will be too hard

I’ll be judged

People will think I’m crazy

My partner/parent/kid/boss/friends won’t approve

I’ll look silly

I won’t fit in

People will be upset

I can’t afford it

I don’t have the time

They will say no

I WILL FAIL

But here’s the question I want you to really sit with: What is the cost of living your life in the permission gap? 

What is the cost of your inaction? What are you missing out on? Having the career of your dreams? Being the type of leader you wish you had and truly want to be? Following your true passion and living your life on purpose? Standing in your true confidence and power? Being the person you were put on this earth to be?

Maybe just living your life with more freedom and lightness and joy because you aren’t being constantly weighed down with the heaviness of all of these thoughts and fears and irrational stories that keep you stuck?

What if you just said YES to yourself?

What if you picked one thing that you currently really want to do or try or be, and instead of deliberating in the permission gap, you just went and did it?

What if?

I invite you to pick one small thing. Or pick one crazy big thing. And take the action you are longing to take.

Start writing the book. Start that side hustle. Leave the relationship that’s making you crazy. Ask for the promotion. Change companies. Build your brand. Sell your house. Tell your boss what you really think. Become an artist. Kick out your toxic flatmate. Die your hair pink. Get the tattoo. Become a vegan. Speak truth to power. Just say no. Finally say yes.

The permission gap is not a place you can live your one big glorious life from. It’s a persistent safe zone. It’s comfortable. And nothing great happens there.

Be brave. Give yourself permission to not only want what you want, but to take action.

Because greatness is in the doing.

And the only permission you need is your own. 

Author(s)

  • Founder & CEO Women Rising | Author | Women's Leadership, Empowerment & Wellbeing

    Megan Dalla-Camina is a globally recognized leader in women’s leadership, best-selling author, and trusted guide for spiritual growth and feminine wisdom. She is the founder of Women Rising, a global movement and platform redefining how women lead, live, and thrive. Through her programs and initiatives, Megan has empowered thousands of women across the world to achieve success with authenticity and purpose. She has received accolades such as the Women’s Economic Forum honour for women’s empowerment, Woman and Mentor of the Year by B&T, and the 2024 Telstra Best of Business Award for Accelerating Women. Her work is featured in top media outlets like Forbes, Marie Claire and CNN, and her popular Psychology Today column has more than 2 million readers. With over two decades of experience in leadership, well-being, and personal development, Megan has built a global reputation for helping women navigate professional and personal challenges with authenticity and grace. As the author of the best-selling books Women Rising and Simple Soulful Sacred, and a PhD researcher in women’s spirituality, Megan weaves together evidence-based tools, sacred wisdom teachings, and her own deeply rooted spiritual practice. Her work bridges the worlds of leadership and spirituality, uniquely positioning her to offer women practical pathways to thrive in both their outer and inner worlds. Through her programs, books, and teachings, Megan empowers women to rise into their power, awaken to their inner wisdom, and create lives of meaning, purpose, and balance. You can find Megan on most social media platforms @megandallacamina.