We tend to think that all friendships are a good thing. It’s hard enough to make friends, let alone keep them. And after all, human connection is the basis for all happiness. Solid friendships give us a sense of belonging and help us cope in hard times. But like anything worth having, the quality matters most.

Superficial Friendships

We live in a world today where shallow friendships are revered and encouraged.

How many likes you get on Instagram is more important than the deep conversation you had with a friend over coffee. The big problem? These types of friendships don’t make us happy (beyond the quick hit of dopamine on social media). They aren’t the kind of connections that make our lives meaningful, and therefore we feel empty and lonely.

How many deep friendships do you have?

Toxic Friendships

Then, when we do take the time to make solid friendships, we run the risk of dealing with toxic relationships. These friendships exist when one person takes advantage of another or brings their friend down in a negative way. It happens more often than we realize.

If you always feel down after visiting with a friend, it’s time to re-evaluate the friendship.

What to Look for in a Friendship

All friendships should make you smile and want to be a better person. That special person gives you bright new ideas or a positive way to see the world. Sure, we all need to vent from time to time, but we have to surround ourselves with people that uplift us, nourish us, and make us want to seize the day.

Need help finding better friends? Try these strategies in How to Make Lifelong Friends As an Adult

In Conclusion

Friendships are massively important to our quality of life. But they aren’t all created equal. So, choose wisely. Invest in fewer friendships that are astounding in their depth and incredibly uplifting.

As Jim Rohn says” you become the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

So, take the time to build deep friendships with people that make you smile. Isn’t that what life is all about?