This week I have been pondering reciprocity – what does it mean to be in relationships that are reciprocal. Succinctly, that means you are in a give and take relationship where one values the other.

To reciprocate with someone who has shared a gift with you albeit their time, their kindness, their energy facilitates nourishment. And as they return the gift to you, you too are enriched.

Sometimes we find ourselves in relationships that are not reciprocal, and we find ourselves dealing with a selfish person even a narcissist who takes more than they give. They feel more special then you. They are always looking to be better.

In those relationships it’s good to be aware and be can’t get strategic. You might feel disregarded, ignored, condescended to and for the most part it makes you feel not good enough. So, when you are in a relationship that you don’t feel good enough you are no doubt in a non – reciprocal relationships. So, when you are with someone like this explore the options you have to not to engage:

  • In Like manner, we spend lot of time in the hopes our relationship will get better with someone we might have had a falling out with or someone who has promised us something like saying I will stop doing drugs etc yet keeps on doing the same thing over and over. Sometimes we just have to let go of relationships and not want them back.
  • According to psychologist, Dr. Harry Cloud. If you have had a good reason for leaving , ask yourself these questions as they will help you determine if you want back into the relationship
  • Am I different in some way that would make this relationship work?
  • Is the person or persons different in some way that would make this work
  • Is the situation fundamentally different in some way that will make this work?

Ultimately all of us deserve to be reciprocal relationships ones that nurture us and recognize our feelings.

And that’s where Cultivating Abundance comes in. How many of us take time each morning to cultivate abundance?  To cultivate reciprocal relationships? How often do we look around and see what is good in our world and how blessed we are?

Truth is I am spending the next 21 days listening to meditations by Deepak Chopra in abundance, so as to require my brain, with the specific goal of manifest more reciprocal relationships in my life, and manifesting more abundance.

In doing so I invite you to join me on this journey.

Here are 9 steps to take to Create Abundance . (Chopra Center)

1. Become aware of your thoughts Do I see the cup half empty or half full? How can I shift my mind through action to shift towards abundance?

2. Practice Gratitude- As we know writing down what we are grateful for each day changes our brain chemistry

3. Recognize Unlimited Possibilities- A great way to do that is through guided meditations . I suggest Deepak Chopra 21 Days of Abundance They are about 15 minutes each, yet the time seems to fly by

4. Cultivate and Share Your Passions and Purpose- Everyone has something to offer another What is yours

5. Develop Mastery Experiences- Choose something you want to do, take action and master. It can be big or small. In COVID 19 I have seen folks learn how to cook, tie die shirts, plant gardens, rearrange their closets and hoes, take online courses. There is just so much to do

6. Watch what you say

7. Concentrate on Growth- Be curious about life – We never know what is around the corner so seize each day with gusto

8. Focus on what is going Right- It’s so easy to focus on the opposite yet we have so much going for us

9. Create Affirmations of Abundance

Please call or drop me a line and let me know what you are doing to create abundance.


  • Louise Stanger Ed.D, LCSW, CDWF, CIP

    Writer, Speaker, Clinician, Interventionist

    Dr. Louise Stanger founded All About Interventions because she is passionate about helping families whose loved ones experience substance abuse, mental health, process addictions and chronic pain. She is committed to showing up for her clients and facilitating lasting change so families are free from sleepless, worrisome nights. Additionally, she speaks about these topics all around the country, trains staff at many treatment centers, and develops original family programs. In 2018, Louise became the recipient of the Peggy Albrecht Friendly House Excellence in Service Award. She most recently received the Interventionist of the Year Award from DB Resources in London and McLean Hospital - an affiliate of Harvard University, in 2019. To learn more, watch this video: and visit her website at