Children take their cue from their parents. If parents are calm, reassuring, optimistic, and supportive, children will feel both confident and competent.

It is important when preparing your child for the first day of school to plan ahead. Children want to fit in – so parents must begin at the beginning, and first find out what inoculations and equipment are needed. Parents should be aware of the dress code, and make sure that their child has all the required clothing, backpacks, lunch boxes, and equipment…purchased in advance. No last-minute shopping; it only adds to stress at an already anxious time for both parents and children alike.

Children will experience separation anxiety, and so will parents. Therefore, it is so important for parents to take the lead and parent – not burdening their children with their own anxieties. Be honest with your children; talk to them about their fears; and listen with empathy. Children will tell you everything.

  • Start now. Find out what vaccinations and equipment are needed, and the dress code, so that your child has all the required clothing, backpacks, lunch boxes, and school supplies purchased in advance. No last-minute shopping – it only adds to stress at an already anxious time for both parents and children alike.
  • Next, visit your child’s school at least one week in advance. Let your child get familiar with their classroom, the hallways, and important offices such as the nurse and principal.
  • Practice and rehearse their classroom schedule. Don’t over-program your child with activities. Allow them time for homework and free time to play and work off steam.
  • Find out if there are any friends, relatives or neighbors in their class; if not, contact one or two of the parents in your child’s class and set up a play-day in advance of the first day of school. Knowing a child or buddy-system helps the transition to move more smoothly.
  • Connect with teachers and staff ahead of time. Talk to the teacher, the nurse, the guidance counselor, and the principal. Show both your interest and your goodwill. Tell them of any concerns you have in regard to your child’s health, and apprise them of any learning problems in advance.
  • Send your child to school with reminders of home. This can be a picture of you and your spouse or a family picture – including siblings. This can be a touchstone that she can reach for when feeling uncomfortable or insecure.
  • Start a bedtime schedule one week in advance of school so that your child gets at least ten hours of sleep at night. As an adult, you know how cranky you get when you are tired, and so do your children. Remember that they don’t have your coping skills.
  • Be reliable; be on time. It is important to take your child to school in the morning on time, and that means having a good breakfast, a good visit and no rushing. Be there at the end of school on time, so that they can count on you to show up when you say you will. This builds self-actualization in your child. If they can count on you, they will count on themselves and they will learn to trust others.
  • Safety first is a very important part of the first day of school, including teaching your child the proper way, in advance, to deal with bullies… by reporting them either to a teacher or a counselor. You want your children to know traffic safety, as well as physical safety. That means to partner with your neighbors and the school to give age-appropriate and balanced information to your child about strangers and how to protect himself from – yes – experiences even like abduction. Young children should know their name, how to spell it, their home telephone number, and the number of a safe and responsible adult that is designated, by their parents. Also, do not label your children, their clothes, or their lunch boxes. That makes them easy targets for unsavory characters.
  • Talk with your child about her feelings and invite her to participate in a conversation that gives her some sense of control. Never embarrass, discount or demean your children’s feelings. Ask her how she would like to be helped in this transition – what things the two of you can do as partners to make the first day of school a pleasant beginning. This is called the empathetic process, and if you invest your child in the discussion, she is more likely to have a smooth outcome and go happily to school. It is important to be honest with your child and tell her that though you will both miss each other she will like school because it will give her new and exciting experiences. Be empathetic, be compassionate and be firm. Nurture your children, meet their needs, and be reliable. You can’t spoil your children with love.


  • Dr. Gail Gross

    Author and Parenting, Relationships, and Human Behavior Expert

    Dr. Gail Gross, Ph.D., Ed.D., M.Ed., a member of the American Psychological Association (APA) and member of APA Division 39, is a nationally recognized family, child development, and human behavior expert, author, and educator. Her positive and integrative approach to difficult issues helps families navigate today’s complex problems. Dr. Gross is frequently called upon by national and regional media to offer her insight on topics involving family relationships, education, behavior, and development issues. A dependable authority, Dr. Gross has contributed to broadcast, print and online media including CNN, the Today Show, CNBC's The Doctors, Hollywood Reporter, FOX radio, FOX’s The O’Reilly Factor, MSNBC, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, Times of India, People magazine, Parents magazine, Scholastic Parent and Child Magazine, USA Today, Univision, ABC, CBS, and KHOU's Great Day Houston Show. She is a veteran radio talk show host as well as the host of the nationally syndicated PBS program, “Let’s Talk.” Also, Dr. Gross has written a semi-weekly blog for The Huffington Post and has blogged at since 2013. Recently, Houston Women's Magazine named her One of Houston's Most Influential Women of 2016. Dr. Gross is a longtime leader in finding solutions to the nation’s toughest education challenges. She co-founded the first-of-its kind Cuney Home School with her husband Jenard, in partnership with Texas Southern University. The school serves as a national model for improving the academic performance of students from housing projects by engaging the parents. Dr. Gross also has a public school elementary and secondary campus in Texas that has been named for her. Additionally, she recently completed leading a landmark, year-long study in the Houston Independent School District to examine how stress-reduction affects academics, attendance, and bullying in elementary school students, and a second study on stress and its effects on learning. Such work has earned her accolades from distinguished leaders such as the Dalai Lama, who presented her with the first Spirit of Freedom award in 1998. More recently, she was honored in 2013 with the Jung Institute award. She also received the Good Heart Humanitarian Award from Jewish Women International, Perth Amboy High School Hall of Fame Award, the Great Texan of the Year Award, the Houston Best Dressed Hall of Fame Award, Trailblazer Award, Get Real New York City Convention's 2014 Blogging Award, and Woman of Influence Award. Dr. Gross’ book, The Only Way Out Is Through, is available on Amazon now and offers strategies for life’s transitions including coping with loss, drawing from dealing with the death of her own daughter. Her next book, How to Build Your Baby’s Brain, is also available on Amazon now and teaches parents how to enhance their child’s learning potential by understanding and recognizing their various development stages. And her first research book was published by Random House in 1987 on health and skin care titled Beautiful Skin. Dr. Gross has created 8 audio tapes on relaxation and stress reduction that can be purchased on Most recently, Dr. Gross’s book, The Only Way Out is Through, was named a Next Generation Indie Book Awards Silver Medal finalist in 2020 and Winner of the 2021 Independent Press Awards in the categories of Death & Dying as well as Grief. Her latest book, How to Build Your Baby’s Brain, was the National Parenting Product Awards winner in 2019, the Nautilus Book Awards winner in 2019, ranked the No. 1 Best New Parenting Book in 2019 and listed among the Top 10 Parenting Books to Read in 2020 by BookAuthority, as well as the Next Generation Indie Book Awards Gold Medal winner in 2020 and Winner of the 2021 Independent Press Awards in the category of How-To. Dr. Gross received a BS in Education and an Ed.D. (Doctorate of Education) with a specialty in Curriculum and Instruction from the University of Houston. She earned her Master’s degree in Secondary Education with a focus on Psychology from the University of St. Thomas in Houston. Dr. Gross received her second PhD in Psychology, with a concentration in Jungian studies. Dr. Gross was the recipient of Kappa Delta Pi An International Honor Society in Education. Dr. Gross was elected member of the International English Honor Society Sigma Tau Delta.