Think about the people you know who seem to be totally at ease with who they are: those people with no need to hide what’s working and not working in their life. The people with no desire to convince you they’re perfect, smarter, or greater than anyone else – while thriving in everything they choose to be or do. Notice how they’re never the ones shouting the loudest or trying the hardest. They have a quiet presence about them, a quiet ease, and joy.
Imagine a world full of people like that?
Imagine if YOU could be more like that?
I’ve experienced the miracles that become available when you choose to do, be and have more of what brings you lightness, joy and meaning. That’s essentially what it takes to be authentic: you start choosing more of what makes you happy. And yet… many of us find making choices that contribute to our own happiness really, really hard.
Why is that?
I believe we’re practiced out of it. From a young age we’re taught to conform in order to be accepted. I’d say we’re pretty much given an instruction manual for How To Fit In And Appear Successful — yet we’re never offered guidance on the real value of exploring who we are, and then choosing what we’d like in our lives from that authentic space of being.
A struggle ensues within us: we wrestle with what would actually make us happy versus what other people expect — and sadly we tend to choose more of the latter. We then pile a lot of self- judgment into the mix too, because however hard we try to ignore it, we’re aware that we’re cutting ourselves off from something more. We mistake that sense of disconnection from ourselves with the idea that we’re somehow wrong. It’s a really miserable place to live from.
It seems like fitting in is the easiest option — yet the irony is that life gets infinitely easier when you choose to be more YOU, however different.
What happens when you choose to be you
You navigate the ups and downs of life with a sense ease and peace. You no longer need outside sources to give your life meaning, or to justify why something might not be working for you or not. You know you’re the source: the one creating your life.
You’re willing to be the unfiltered you, without apology. You can laugh at yourself; you can be vulnerable. And you dare to stick out, while not needing to.
Life becomes magical, not by anyone else’s standards — by your standards.
Being More You: 3 Key Steps
1. Discover what makes you lighter
While doing more of what makes you happy goes hand-in-hand with being more you, some of us are so cut off from our true nature that we’ve lost what that even means for us. There’s a really beautiful way to get clarity here: instead of trying to decipher what makes you happy — consider what makes you lighter.
Whenever you feel light, spacious, or at ease — you’re being you.
When you feel heavy, contracted, or tense — you’re not.
What inspires, delights or excites you? When you do, perceive or be those things, notice that sense of lightness in your world. Allow it to surprise you! What makes you lighter may not at all be what you thought it would be or what brings lightness to the people around you.
2. Follow the light
Choose more of that lightness, every single day. What do you love doing? Do more of it! What do you enjoy being? Be that!
Start creating a list of what makes you lighter: the things, people, choices and places that make your spirit soar. I have a list like this in the notes section of my phone; I turn to it on days where I know I’m being less of me. On those days, you can also use this question: What would I choose to do right now if I were truly being me?
Always choose to do whatever enlivens your spirit, whatever awakens you and makes you come ALIVE.
3. See this as a process
There’s no shortcut to being you — and that is a brilliant thing! It’s an exciting, meandering, surprising path, where there’s always more to discover. If you approach being you from a malleable, flexible place, you’ll have so much more fun.
Don’t assume that you know what you’ll discover. I’ve been on this path for the last 20 years and I am constantly discovering something new about myself and what’s possible.
Being you is the most wondrous and rewarding journey you can go on. If your spirit — your being — has lightened as you’ve read this, I encourage you to take notice, and if you like, join us in celebrating the first Being You Day on May 22 with people from all over the world.
See you there!
Dain Heer