Someone I know (not a client, not yet anyway!) moved house during lockdown. She was excited for a fresh start.
It’s some years since her divorce but the financials had taken forever and although she was miserable there, she stayed on in the marital home until it had to be sold.
Her stuff went into storage for a couple of months and she visited friends while the purchase of her new place completed. In that time she met someone new, found a job she loved and was relaxed and happy.
Since she settled into her new home things haven’t been so rosy;
· Made redundant
· Relationship with kids strained
· New guy ghosted her
· Parents came for a night and are still there three months later (she gave up her bed and sleeps on the couch)
· She broke her foot
· and unsurprisingly she is struggling with anxiety and depression
So what happened?
Why the massive swing from happy to dire?
The day she walked into her beautiful new bijou home, all the stuff from the marital home arrived back from storage.
The enormous sofa, the three massive flat screen TVs, the books, DVDs and CDs, the marital bed, the photos, the desk she was sitting at when she realised her husband was unfaithful, pictures which had adorned the walls of her (much larger) former home.
All the memories, triggers and hurt from her past came back to live with her and it’s all pretty desperate and painful to watch. She’s aged ten years in six months. Like many people who feel they’ve lost out in a divorce, she is determined to hold tight to everything she has left and that’s been reinforced by losing her job.
Knowing her ex is enjoying life to the full with his new girlfriend is kicking her while she’s down.
So why don’t I help her?
Her friends are frantic to get me involved, wanted to book a consultation and pay my fees as a gift to her.
I said ‘Sorry no.’ Until someone asks to work with me, I stand back.
You see, this amazing lady has to want to bring me in – it has to be her decision. And when she does, her 2021 will have an infinitely brighter outcome than she expects!