Who frustrates you? A child that won’t take out the trash. A spouse that won’t pick up dirty clothes. An employee that’s always late. A friend that never picks up the check. A boss that doesn’t acknowledge your contributions.
When thinking about “who frustrates you”, it’s likely you didn’t have to think very long. Most of us have more than one person we could put on the list.
I’ve worked with frustrated CEOs, supervisors, spouses, and even teenagers. Each one shared the same thing in common. They were unhappy with someone or multiple individuals.
Their frustration centered on not being able to get these individuals to do what they wanted. They were frustrated because their expectations weren’t being met. Sound familiar?
It’s unfortunate many of these individuals think the only solution is to lower their expectations. This only leads to more frustration! While some believe that “pessimists can only be pleasantly surprised, and optimists are generally disappointed” does not change the fact that optimists enjoy life more. Lowering expectations is not the answer if you want less frustration in life.
I share with you what I share with those I have worked with to reduce their level of frustration. Every individual that continues to frustrate you, the one you continue to tell over and over again, without the result you want. The one you threaten time and time again only to still remain frustrated. Those individuals are not the problem. It’s you!
The employee that is constantly late. The one you threaten time and time again (but never follow through) is late because you allow the tardiness. Yes, you may yell and threaten, however, it’s very likely the employee is used to it by now.
The child that won’t take out the trash. The spouse that won’t pick up his socks. The employer that won’t recognize your work or give you a raise. All these individuals are used to your displeasure. It does not affect them. At least in the sense of making a change they have no desire to make.
While your expectations are not being met, what you are willing to accept is being met. Yes, the late employee is still getting paid. The child not taking out the trash is still getting dessert, watching TV, and playing video games. The boss that won’t increase pay is still getting quality work for what he wants to pay.
The fastest way to improve your life and lower your frustration is to raise your level of acceptance!
Is it always going to be easy? No. Nothing worth while in life is easy. You must realize you deserve better. You must quit accepting mediocrity.
While you cannot change your children, you can take away privileges. You can take away desserts and allowances. You can terminate employees. You can quit a job. You found your current job. You can find another one. Will it be convenient? No. Will it be worth it? Yes. Unless you want to continue being frustrated for the rest of your life.
Your frustration with others is a result of you wanting them to change. You cannot get other people to change. You can only change you. You can change what you will accept and what you will no longer accept.
This may result in you having to choose new friends. It may require finding a new partner. It may cause friction with your children. All these situations will eventually lead you to positive change. Change you deserve. Change to have your business operate with employees willing to be punctual. Change to have a relationship with someone that respects your wishes and wants to make you happy. Someone to appreciate you and your feelings. You may have to dig your heels in to change behavior in children. The results will be worth it.
You will discover when you change what you will accept, you will find people that meet what you accept. (You already have up to this point.)
This concept of raising what you will accept crosses all thresholds. You can decide you will no longer accept being out of shape. Whatever you decide you will no longer accept, you can take action starting today, to raise your level of acceptance. It does not take huge action, but you must act.
If you will no longer accept being a high school dropout, begin looking for ways to get your GED. If you will no longer accept being passed over for a raise, start working on your resume today. If you will no longer accept your relationship, seek out a counselor to work with both of you or with just you. If you believe it is beyond repair, start looking for a place to live.
Continuing to live with your current frustrations is a choice. You can choose to no longer accept who or what is frustrating you. You can choose to raise your level of acceptance. When you do raise your level of acceptance, your life will begin to change!
“People don’t do what you expect. They do what you accept.”
Take Action Today!
If you would like assistance with raising your level of acceptance, I can help you. We can meet by phone, on Zoom, or in a place you deem safe with social distancing. Whether you choose me or someone else, a coach will expedite your results.
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Image by Goran Horvat from Pixabay.com
Published by Bryan M. Balch, Results Coach
Helping Individuals and Businesses Achieve Desired Results
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