I am because you are- UBUNTU.

Read it again. Out loud or whisper it if you wish.

Now take a deep breath and let it sink in.

We are living in an era of many if’s , but’s, blaming, shaming, pointing, they and us. This is a phenomenon that is found amongst our children, families, work places, virtual realities etc. Such comes and arises as our need to be seen and loved emerges.  We demand love and apologies, yet we fail to give love or ask for forgiveness. We are seeking validation for our self worth and our points of views as our souls are screaming ENOUGH living like this. We are seeking for a change but can’t explain with words what weight our emotions are carrying. Enough is a great place to start with. It is correct indeed. Let us start first with enough finger pointing. Enough driving ourselves towards futures of collective self-destruction. Brothers and sisters do we not see that your humanity is tied to mine- vice versa. In the end we will all suffer if one of us is left behind and/or not lifted towards “wholeness”. I’m not talking about socio economic differences, abuse, mistreatment and overall PAIN- which is a whole different conversation. One that we can’t have without having this one first. The aforementioned are just symptoms and manifestations of pain being exercised in an external fashion but lack the foresight to understand the birth of its why. What I hope to relay and describe are the issues amongst our souls- our collective human spirit. This is not a matter of new age bs. This is a matter of which I believe and will argue clearly affects EVERYTHING. This is a matter that we will affect our companies’ bottom lines, our retention of employees, the health of our relationships and ultimately the foundation and ground we are leaving our children to stand on. This boils down to hurt people hurt people, yet healed people heal people.

This is a matter of that you are part of the problem just as I am. Yeap, you read that correctly. You and I are part of the problem and together we will destroy our children’s future if we don’t fix our act up. Democrats, Republicans, Americans, Immigrants, Blacks, Whites, Hispanic, Straight, LGBTQ, Old, Young, Agnostic, Believers etc…– whoever is a human and thinks not of themselves as a different species is part of the problem.

As South African Archbishop Desmond Tutu explained, “My humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together.” It is okay to honor our individualities while respecting that of our neighbors. It is okay to enter the space of debate and perhaps accountability only and ONLY preferably after doing our self-homework and some reflection. Who are we to judge another if we have not done some self-cleaning and tune up. Ultimately taken some personal responsibility for our lives. The toxicity that lies within us is destroying our health, our workplaces, our homes, our neighborhoods, our international agreements or lack thereof- ultimately our CORE.

Ultimately, let us heal our inner child so we are able to show up. Show up to the dialogue in a healthy way so we can have a productive conversation that leads to transformation, healing and moving forward. We must show up for ourselves . Show up for our families. Show up for our country. Show up for the children of today and tomorrow.

So as we contemplate on our freedom and independence more so now than ever- I hope we take it up a notch. I hope we reflect on what values we want to embody as an individual and as a collective- and as a nation.

Here are some values personally I want to embody: forgiveness, listening, respect, unity, LOVE, ownership and FAITH that we can heal. Enough finger pointing and let’s pick up the pieces and rebuild together. Because in doing the aforementioned we will honor the interconnectedness of our actions to one another. Hence, we will honor you … we will honor me. There is not they only WE. What values do you want to embody and choose intentionally?

Here are some ideas on what you can do to accelerate unity and healing: 

-Sit and share a conversation with someone you don’t usually sit with at work. 

-Make a new friend, one that doesn’t look or think like you. 

-Don’t delete those on social media that don’t agree with you, perhaps instead find something you have in common and do a project around that together if a family/or “friend”.

-Talk to your neighbors. 

-Plant a seed of hope in others?

-Focus on those things you do share in common with others. 

The list is endless… choose to build a bridge, to heal and love one another.

and please hold on to HOPE.



  • Nilmarie

    Resiliency Enthusiast, Realtor, Mom, Community Developer...

    Thrive Global Contributor

    About The Author “I’m a little pencil in the hand of God who is sending a love letter to the world…” Mother Theresa Nilmarie Zapata inspires, ignites and holds others and herself accountable.  Primarily, Nilmarie advocates for individuals to choose love at home, work and community via peace and unity building and does so via distinct platforms. Zapata is a certified trainer in the Community Resiliency Model via the Trauma Resource Institute and is also a Choose Love Ambassador for the Jesse Lewis Choose Love Program. She incorporates such in her function as Realtor and member of the Leading Real Estate Companies of the World network. When she is not helping others buy and sell their homes, she enjoys mentoring, being a student of faith, teaching, moving/shaking, developing community, writing and gardening. Nilmarie Zapata is deeply committed to accelerating opportunities and hope for children, organizations, individuals and families. Nilmarie serves as advisor to various non-profit boards, and brings a balanced holistic approach to her leadership style and teachings. Zapata is a writer contributor for Thrive Global, where she shares lessons learned via a recollection of stories around faith, healing, self love, building community, leadership and resilience.  Zapata has over 10 years experience in civic engagement, education, and community building. Previously, she served as Site Director for award winning national youth leadership development program, Public Allies and founded Global Shapers Orlando, an initiative of the World Economic Forum. She is native from Puerto Rico and currently resides in Seminole County, Florida alongside her human and fur family.