For many couples, divorce is one of the hardest things they need to go through. It’s stressful, confusing and downright scary, especially if you’re not both on the same page when it comes to your separation. Either way, divorce is challenging and you need to take your time to ensure you’re mentally strong enough to go through it. If you need some advice on how to overcome your fears, here are a few tips to keep in mind.
Take it slow
Going through this one day at a time is your best strategy. Your mind might be buzzing with what-if scenarios, your past mistakes and your future troubles, but nothing has been decided yet. Knowing that you’re not powerless, that you have control and that your voice will be heard can shoo away lots of fears.
Focus on concrete things
Divorce is a complicated process when it comes to legal aspects and decisions. There are many issues to consider, so all of it can be very overwhelming if you tackle it all at once. Instead of dividing your attention into ten different directions, it’s best to handle one thing at a time. To give yourself some confidence, focus on concrete things that will give you visible results.
You can’t stay strong alone for too long. If you have family and friends, don’t hesitate to call them and ask for their support during the divorce process. When people close to you ask what they can do to help, take your time and explain your situation and even offer suggestions. Many of them are happy to help whichever way they can: by babysitting, bringing home-cooked meals or driving you to court. Even if all they provide is a hug and an ear to vent in, it’s still an amazing support strategy that will give you courage and make you feel stronger.
Family lawyers can lend a helping hand
If this is your first divorce, you probably don’t know anything about the legal aspects of the thing and that’s understandable. If that’s one of the sources of your anxiety and fear, it’s a good idea to hire legal help. Some countries like Australia have specialized lawyers dealing with family issues. If you find experienced family lawyers in Sydney, you can expect plenty of useful information about everything from child custody to property division. Professionals are the best source of knowledge when it comes to your rights, so if you have any questions or if you require representation, they can reduce the fear you’re experiencing and allow you to sleep soundly.
Stay active and productive
Divorce is very draining, both physically and emotionally, so it’s easy to get stuck in feeling sorry for yourself all the time. While your emotions are perfectly valid, it’s best to experience them and get over them! If you need to, force yourself to be active and productive. Various steps can help you become a productive single person, so start doing it. Once you see all the progress you’ve made, you’ll get a lot of strength and motivation to continue moving in the right direction.
Find a way to relieve stress
Stress will be present during this period, that’s for sure. However, how you deal with it is the key to happiness and health. When the pressure is overwhelming, you can try meditation or sign up for workout classes. Kickboxing is a great way to relieve stress in a controlled environment. You can also dedicate some of your time to hobbies or various interests.
It’s OK to be scared
There will be times when all you will capable of is curling into a ball and crying. These emotions are valid and they need to be felt and experienced. However, you need to know that you can’t stay in your fetus position forever. You have responsibilities, you have family, you have friends, you have yourself! Still, one of the best ways to forget all about fear is to experience it and get over it. When you’re feeling the most fragile, take a nap, write about your fears, rant to people in your divorce support group and let it all out. As long as you don’t scare your kids, it’s all okay. Being afraid is normal, but it doesn’t mean everything is ruined. When you find yourself in hell, the best thing you can do is move forward. What are you going to do? Stay in hell?
Turn to the future
Divorce means the end of one thing, but it’s also a door to new opportunities. Make sure to dedicate time to things that give you happiness and fulfillment and turn to your goals for the future. When you have something to look forward to, you’ll forget all about fear and turn it into excitement.
It’s normal that you’re hurting, it’s normal that you’re scared. However, if you find good support and turn your focus on the future, things will change for the better in no time and you will come out of this stronger and happier.