Never Would I Ever…. Again.

Hello loyal readers, by that I mean my girlfriend because no one else cares, my sincerest apologies for my absence. The last few weeks I’ve felt less than inspired so rather than feed you a bunch of hot garbage I decided to abstain all together, you’re welcome.

Last weekend Quinn and I went to visit her father just outside of Toronto, he picked us up from the Go bus stop much to my dismay. Yes, I fully think I am too good for the bus. I hopped in the front seat and gave him a hug, which he hated and that made me happy. Isn’t it just the f*cking best when you get a hug in with someone who avoids them like a white rusty van at night? He’s a big mean bear and I love him.

Her dad wanted to go visit his brother right away so we headed there and made fun of my girlfriend (his daughter) most of the way, don’t worry it was a short car ride, she’s fine. We get there and all I could see was flannel, Budweiser and a dog. I don’t care for most humans so I decided to strike up a conversation with the dog, he didn’t have much to say. I felt very out of place at this gathering because
I wasn’t an old racist drunk man, oh well maybe next time.

We all ended up heading to a nearby bar after the men finished pretending to work on a car for an hour or so. I would barely call this establishment a bar, it’s more like a room with tables and a fridge. There are taps, but I suppose they are decorative because they don’t pour beer. As to be expected the more the men drank the more repulsive they became, until it got to the point that it always does “do you and your girlfriend want to have a threesome?” Ok here is a little piece of advice to all you stupid pieces of f*ck out there, WE NEVER WANT TO HAVE A THREESOME WITH YOU…. EVER.

It’s so sweet when men think that they’re going to be the one to make us straight again isn’t it? Honestly, honey you and you’re tiny brain and useless d*ck will never be enough. Maybe read a book, stop being a piece of f*ck and try again next year.