Today I received some interesting information about the sloth (my ex) from my girlfriend who was yet again trapped in an endlessly senseless conversation with the sloths ex/current toxic lover. The fact that this woman thinks my partner and I even want to talk to her is wild to me, but here we are. So as usual she immediately brings up the sloth to my girlfriend….. Maybe try “hey, how are you?” first, unless people don’t have time for that any more. Apparently everyone’s people skills can’t get through their masks? We don’t know.  She continues to go on about how the sloth’s mental state is not great ever since I started a blog about him. Yes, I realize this post mentions him, but also I genuinely don’t give a flying f*ck.

Just to clarify :

Sloth, if you and your weird lover are reading this, I am so not sorry to inform you, but this blog couldn’t be less about you. Oh and go f*ck yourself, because you’re awful at f*cking anyone else.

Alright moving on, so my girlfriend and I hosted thanksgiving last night and it was such a blast. We got drunk, ate an obscene amount of food, danced and laughed at my dancing. I didn’t know holidays could be fun. I sincerely can’t wait to do it all over again for Christmas. I think I might be a holiday party person now. Meet the new Dani, she’s a host, she’s a drunk, and she regularly cleans her bathroom. Who is she, we need to meet her.

This weekend has been quite exciting I suppose. Along with the festivities I also got a new roommate, his name is Gene, he always leaves the lights on and snacks on crickets. He’s very quiet so I have no complaints so far, but I’m still getting to know him.

I’ve been really thinking about moving lately…. Like far away, possibly somewhere with a bucket for a toilet. Running into losers every time I leave my apartment is truly making the bucket toilet look so incredibly appealing. I know I would only last maybe a week, if I had enough wine maybe loner. The idea is nice, I’ll let it swim around in my brain a while until it drowns with all of my other ideas.

Enjoy your turkey’s you fat f*cks xoxo