I have been recording a series for my YouTube channel on the all the questions you ask at the end of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship; I believe knowledge is power and when you can understand what has been happening this is your first step on your healing journey.

Unless you are a survivor of emotional abuse, you have no idea what it means to fight a daily battle in your head, with a person you are no longer in contact with.

The constant conversations you have with yourself and the questions you keep asking.

I know what I was asking, but when I did any research, questions were along the lines of wanting to understand what they are doing and if you are being missed. Why? 

Oh that is so simple because your self-esteem is on the floor, they told you that you were the only person who has ever understood them, so how have they moved on? Why aren’t you good enough anymore? What did you do wrong?  

Each relationship is different, but the cycles are the same. And when I work with people and ask them a question, they automatically deny anything and protect themselves or the memory; however, as we progress they open up and acknowledge a childhood trauma or an abandonment wound.

And it is this trauma or wound that is your verruca! It’s your virus…

We know a virus isn’t good; one has just cost me £££ to remove it from my laptop! And, if we have a virus in our body it knock us out, there is nothing you can do but rest and keep hydrated.

Do they miss me? There is a pain deep inside you; where do you feel that pain? Perhaps you are wondering if you meant anything to them.

The pain might be from feeling rejected or abandoned.

Do they miss you? • No, they don’t, and they probably don’t even think about you. 

Too harsh? • I’m sorry I don’t want to hurt you even further… But it is true.

Maybe they are thinking about you but not for the same reasons. 

They might be devaluing you to other people, creating stories and smear campaigns to make them look like the victim. They were doing it before they left so it wasn’t such a shock to others and they needed the supply of attention. 

They may be ‘getting off’ on seeing how much pain you are in, they love to know how much power they still have over you. 

They may miss the things you did for them and the attention (the good quality) they received from you. They will have already started to talk about you to their new partner, just like they did to you. They are programming them to receive the information they need to stay in their fake relationship.

They might be hoovering you making you think they really do care. 

The sad truth is, this is a game and you don’t have the rules, you never did and you never will.

The sad truth is, they are doing exactly the same with someone new. 

Do they miss you? 

Where is the pain coming from? If you can feel it in your chest or perhaps your head is spinning, this is where the root of your verruca is, this is where your ORIGINAL WOUND is. 

I want to help you and I can… 


  • Elizabeth Goddard

    Author of the A-Z of Emotional Abuse and Finding Lily I help people break the invisible bonds that keep them trapped after a relationship

    Through my own healing journey, I know the damage emotional abuse leaves both in your internal life and your external, physical, and financial life because I’ve been there.

    This was a game and I didn’t have the rules. After an unhealthy relationship, I was left a shell of my former self and I’d lost everything; I was broke and I was broken… 

    I was stuck in a debilitating cycle of questioning and doubting myself- 

    “If only I had said… If only I hadn’t said… Maybe if I had done… Maybe if I hadn’t done… “ I thought it was all my fault.

    The very first part of healing was dealing with the invisible bonds the Trauma Bonding, which kept me trapped unable to move on.  I eventually realised it really wouldn’t have made any difference if I had said or done anything differently I would still be here, I might have been granted more time but I also might have been even more traumatised. 

    I believe the emotions we feel are trapped trauma and we experience over and over again until we remove it completely from our system. 

    And that we need to get to the root cause, and much like a verruca, if a tiny part of the root is left it will lay dormant until it is triggered again. 

    The problem with a lot of methods is they only scratch the surface of the problem and act more like a bandaid rather than a full solution…

    Every step I have taken over the last 20 years has brought me to this point to be able to spot the hallmarks of abuse and transform the grit into gold

    Each new level of understanding has expanded my toolbox.

    I am so passionate about the work I do with clients, seeing them gain the clarity and the inner healing is magical and to see their faces change physically after just one session inspires me. 

    And I love having a business that allows me to travel, for travel was something that saved me when I was going through my own healing journey. 

    When I’m not working on Revive Your Soul, you will probably find me in my garden tending to my vegetables, might find me walking along the canals, writing, or meeting friends for coffee. Or you might spot me at the airport…

    Elizabeth Goddard

     Author - Finding Lily & A-Z of Emotional Abuse and Emotional Abuse Specialist