Do you try to get through your day?

Do you try to achieve your goals?

Do you try to keep up with children and work?

Of course, you do. Women have been wired to try. And if you try then you are asked to try harder to prove yourself in a world that does not cater to women and children.

If you are anything like me, 40 and above, well educated, highly qualified, encouraged to achieve by a mother who was kept back from having a career by family commitments or social perceptions, you have been made to feel guilty for not trying enough to keep everyone happy.

Later you joined the Self-Help book trend or hired a life coach, because you thought that you were not trying hard enough, or smart enough, so you had to find ways to do so better, faster, more.

I feel we have walked this road together, despite or because of our cultural differences, various degrees of commitment and assorted hiccups along the way to where we are now.

Through my studies, my working experience as a journalist and entrepreneur, and my family life as a working wife and mother of three, I have come to the understanding that if you have to try then you are not on the right path.

You see, even when I was practising mountaineering as a teenager, trying was not what I was doing to get to the next level, place my pickax, and reach for my goal destination. I thought and felt and remembered what I had to do, but action flowed through me and I never had to actually try.

Believe me when I tell you that when you try for something and try harder and harder, that something (or someone) is not meant for you, and you will most probably regret it if you achieve it.

So, think about it and let me know. What works best for you when you do not try? What makes you feel you are flowing with it (or him/her)?

And please, just don’t try!