I do wish I had no expectations .. to start of with myself.
Am in a bit of a frenzy as the last few weeks a lot has been happening. At this moment, I am in the middle of helping my children move and set up homes. As we are in London , there is no real help and we are doing everything ourselves.
In the middle of this I was really upset as I did not have this blog ready to publish this morning. I expect to have my blog ready every Friday evening and published Saturday morning.
This is an expectation I have of myself ?
An expectation is believing something is going to happen or should be a certain way.
The most important thing for you to learn is You are not in this world to live up to other peoples expectations and other people are not here to live up to yours.
I may feel the right thing when I see my children is that they should come and give me a hug. If they do not do this one morning it becomes an unmet expectation.
How do we deal with unmet expectations?
We definitely have to learn from this. This is teaching us something we need to learn.
We need to forgive and let go. By holding on we are not helping ourselves.
See it as a little blip in this wonderful life of Yours.
Give these expectations as little power as possible.
There are basically 2 types of expectations – realistic and unrealistic .
When one has unrealistic expectations they have a desire to dictate how people should behave around them. ( Like some politicians, stars, prominent businessmen etc ) They want to be in control of everything.
To live happy and free of too many expectations one needs to
- Stop expecting them to know what you are thinking. ( unless I tell my kids that I love their hug every morning, how will they know that I expect and love for them to hug me )
– Stop expecting everyone to agree with you and to respect you more than you respect yourself.
- Stop expecting them to fit your idea of who they are. They are who they are and cannot change for you ( maybe you can first change a bit for them? )
- Stop expecting them to need, love you. Just like respecting ourselves, we need to Love ourselves and when we do we do not need it that from from others.
As Bruce Lee said:
“I am not in this world to live up to your expectations and you are not in world to live up to mine.”
Source: Anjana Shamballa Blog