Feeling jealous is an odd thing. We feel this horrible emotion, physically and mentally about something that doesn’t even exist. Maybe we’re jealous because our friend looks gorgeous and we don’t. Or that girl earns millions and we don’t. Or she has a perfect house and we don’t. Feeling jealous comes down to the innate fear that we’re not enough or lovable just the way we are (and that ultimately we need the things these other people have to feel loved and enough). These are all completely false stories we tell ourselves…
So, we’re going to go over some super quick steps to love our fellow sisters for National Sister Day and collaborate rather than compete to fall in love with those we hate. Because when we feel loving emotions, we allow in more opportunities, more abundance, more wealth, more joy – more everything. And when we hold onto jealousy, we end up burning only ourselves.
How I used jealousy to my advantage
When I first started in business, I was jealous of everything and everyone. Those that already earning over $100k in their business, those that were appearing on TV, those that had fully booked schedules and travelled and met fabulous people. And there was one lass in particular that I was super jealous of. She had a cute puppy, lived in New York, had an amazing coaching business, she travelled and appeared on news shows and seemed to be doing everything I wanted to be doing. I resented her and I didn’t know why. It wasn’t until I asked myself – what does she actually have that you don’t or can never have? And there was nothing. She was a normal girl, like me. She was British, like me. She was down-to-earth. Like me. And so I decided to contact her and take her off this pedestal I’d accidently put her on.
Turns out she really wanted to do yoga and had actually been following me and meaning to get in touch with me. We got chatting and she ended up teaching me so much. She put me in touch with some amazing people so that I got featured on some amazing sites like Elite Daily, Greatist and Bustle. She showed me how to get into the media and own my mindset. She showed me, through this experience, that I am totally enough and loveable and capable just the way I am – she was just a little further along the journey than me. I accepted this and now we’re collaborating on some amazing and beautiful things.
Jealousy is only an emotion, it is not demonstrating the truth to us, whatever we’re jealous of. Jealousy is actually fabulously empowering – it shows us what is possible for us, and what we truly want. Does she have an amazing body and we don’t? We must then work on our self-love and tell ourselves how beautiful we are already, then make a plan to get in-control of our body. Does she earn more money than us? Let’s remind ourselves we’re capable of earning all the money we want and get set to creating services, products or working intelligently to show our boss we deserve a promotion.
3 steps to empowerment
And it’s with this step-by-step formula that will stop us feeling jealous and start us owning our own power to receive all the things we want.
- We must identify what is making us jealous. It’s typically never the person or thing itself, it’s the fear inside that we’re not amazing just as we are. Write down everything you could think of about that person or thing that is making you jealous.
- Do a quick 2-part meditation seeing that thing or person in front of us. We’ll see them being jealous of us for the same reasons we’re jealous of them. See them asking us for help and advice on the thing we’re jealous of. By doing this we’re taking them off the pedestal they’ve accidentally been put on. Next, we need to see ourselves with all the things we want, everything that we’re jealous of, see ourselves owning and having all those things.
- Finally, identify what it is we want that that person has – write that down and re-phrase it so it sounds and feels like we have it. For example, maybe we’re jealous of that girls image and we’d love to wear the things she’s wearing. Maybe we need to experiment with our style in a way that helps us to feel empowered and confident. Our phrase might be ‘I look amazing in the clothes I choose to wear’. We could then explore finding a stylist and having fun with some new items of clothing.
Feeling jealous can be totally debilitating and frustrating, but we are totally in-control and can use it to create a life and world that excites and amazes us. We can even each out to that person that makes us feel jealous, like I did, and collaborate to use both our qualities for the greater good! The world is a beautiful place, we just need to see it that way.
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