If you and your spouse are considering a divorce, you’re likely facing one of the most challenging and transformative phases of your life. People often get married with the expectation and anticipation of being together forever. However, life happens to all of us – people either evolve, remain the same, or decide to go their separate ways. If you are uncertain on whether or not you should consider a divorce, here are five (5) things to consider:

Therapy or Counseling 

Before divorce proceedings even begin, it is common practice to partake in therapy or marriage counseling first. In my experience working as a divorce lawyer and family law attorney in Bergen County, New Jersey, and Monmouth County, New Jersey, I have observed potential clients end up rekindling their marriage as a result of therapy. If you and your spouse have not had sessions with a marriage counselor or relationship therapist, it may help your relationship and deter you from seeking a divorce. If you and your spouse have had many sessions with a marriage counselor or relationship therapist, and it didn’t work out, then this may be a sign that you could be headed for divorce.

Outgrowing Each Other

This happens a lot with some couples who get married young. Years later, one discovers they have outgrown the other either mentally or spiritually (or both). Evolution occurs at different stages in one’s life, but when it happens, often, we want the other person to get on board and experience growth also. Unfortunately, it does not always happen that way. If you face this dilemma, you are not alone, as many people who end up filing for divorce find themselves in this place during their process. 

Arguments and Conflicting Ideas

Clearly, this negative behavior can result in a divorce – primarily if it occurs regularly. Some arguments are common and to be expected in a marriage. But, when you pair conflicting ideas about raising children, saving/spending money, or drama with the in-laws, divorce can be looming. In my view, no one should reside with a person who constantly brings negative energy to the environment. If you and your spouse are constantly arguing and can’t seem to agree on important things for your household, therapy or counseling is something you may want to consider.

Domestic Violence

While one of the leading causes of divorce is infidelity, domestic violence is another close contender. If your spouse abuses you verbally, physically, it is time to file a divorce and to seek help. Do not wait for it to happen again. 

Communication Issues

Believe it or not, in my experience, most marriages end as a result of communication issues. One would think infidelity trumps this category, but I find that it does not. Some couples rarely communicate to each other, and when/if they do, it is a negative interaction. How can a marriage thrive if couples simply do not or cannot talk to each other? 

In conclusion, several factors can lead to a divorce. While deciding whether or not to proceed with a divorce is a tough decision, it can be necessary for your internal peace. When you discover the reason(s) why you are considering a divorce, we advocate taking the next step and setting up an appointment with a top divorce lawyer in your area


This article contains general information and opinions from Sheena Burke Williams and is not intended to be a source of legal advice for any purpose. No reader of this article should act or refrain from acting on the basis of information included in this article without seeking legal advice of counsel. Sheena Burke Williams expressly disclaims all liability with respect to actions taken or not taken based on any content in this article.