Macy’s is having their annual Father’s Day sale, ties for Dad are flying off the shelves.

For the fit Dads, FitBit is offering free two day shipping with some terrific discounts.

Omaha Steaks just emailed me about their incredible Father’s Day sizzling steaks sale.

Treat Dad like a king this year, the options are endless!

But what are the options for the fatherless on father’s day?

What do the fatherless do?

This year, just like the past four I will be visiting my Dad’s grave and place flowers by his headstone.

Sunday will be a difficult 24 hours for the fatherless. You have so much love you want to give your Dad, but sadly he is no longer here to shower him with all the love and adoration that he deserves. The entire day, specifically the commercialized aspect of this day illuminates the absence of him.

For those of you like my husband and one of my best friends who are experiencing their first Father’s Day without Dad the entire day is like riding a rollercoaster without a seatbelt in a thunderstorm and you’re on fire. You quickly go from devastated, to sad, to inconsolable, to devastated, then if you’re like me you laugh at nothing only to return feeling totally devastated. It’s really quite confusing for people who have yet to lose a parent. My advice to friends and family is to just be there, we need you. For my husband, his first Father’s Day without his dad also happens to be his birthday.

Yes, you read that right.

It’s my hubby’s first birthday without his Dad AND his first Father’s Day without his dad.

I mean would you expect anything less from 2020 at this point?

This will be my fourth Father’s Day without my Dad. For me, it’s a time to reflect and to practice gratitude. A time to look up and say, “Thank you for choosing ME to be your daughter.” Full disclosure, I still get angry, and sometimes downright jealous of people who still have their Dad’s. For me, because my father died unable to eat I still get anxious and angry when I see an abundance of food, especially on a day like Father’s Day. I don’t think that pain ever goes away, but somehow, I don’t know how, you just learn how to hide it and live with it.

If I close my eyes tight enough I can see my Dad grilling burgers on Father’s Day with a smile from ear to ear. I can hear him talking and laughing. My Dad had a laugh that was infectious. I think that’s what I miss most, his laugh and his hugs. Two things that meant everything was going to be okay.

My father was my real life super hero. He was larger than life in my eyes and could fix anything. When I was scared he would hold my hand, look me in the eyes and tell me everything, absolutely everything would be okay.

And I believed him.

He loved me when I needed it most. He loved me for me, flaws and all. He was the definition of unconditional love.

This Father’s Day, my gift to my father is to love that way. To love others for who they are, to open my heart and let others know I am here for them. No questions asked, no judgement, just pure unconditional love.

To my husband, my friend and everyone else, know that your father is with you in the twinkle in your eyes and the comfort of your hugs. When you feel the warmth of the sun on your skin it is your father’s smile as he watches you from above. He is with you when you help others and offer advice.

A father’s unconditional love, kindness and wisdom are things that can never be taken away even when he is gone. Our father’s never really leave us. We are a part of them, and they are forever a part of us.

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