When it comes to playing the blame game, there are no winners.
And the worst thing is that the blamer is ultimately the one who is maimed in the process. To blame is to be disabled. To blame is to be struck in the heart. To blame will only raise your blood pressure, give you sleepless nights, and provide you with no solutions.
There have been a few times in my life where others have inflicted mortal blows to my life – spiritually, socially, mentally, and even financially. And yet, while I continued to blame them for what they had caused in my life, I was totally immobilized. I was stuck in anger. I was mortified with rage. And the only people who were feeling the heat of my blame were myself, and unfortunately, my close family.
I found myself mad at people, mad at life, mad at God, mad at religion, mad at the government, mad at my circumstances, mad at myself for being so stupid to be hurt, mad at the weather, mad at my parents, and if my pet cat was walking by I even got mad at her.
In fact, I was just plain mad at everybody and everything, and if I hadn’t stopped this madness and addressed this burning rage and a sense of betrayal, it would have driven me to complete insanity.
So here are the 3 things I have learned about why it’s such a great idea to stop playing the blame game.
One finger pointing equals three fingers pointing straight back at the pointer
It’s a physical fact. Do it now! If you’re the owner of five fingers, point your pointer finger and see what happens to the bottom three fingers. That’s right. They’re pointing straight back at you.
For everyone blaming the finger that I have ever pointed, I have experienced the power of the three pointing back at me. It was, in fact, a threefold hell that began to unfold in my life. Those who I blamed didn’t feel a thing. But I felt the wrath of my own blame as it ate away at my heart.
But a wonderful thing happened when I stopped pointing the finger. Those three fingers that were pointing back at me were now released to then get on with the job at hand – and that was to build a bright future, free of blame, and it then released me to give myself a helping hand.
Those who blame are made lame
When you’re living in a state of blame, you become useless. It is, in fact, disabling. It messed with your thought patterns. It steals your sleep. It breeds inefficiency due to the distraction caused by blame. Everything becomes distorted.
The monster we call blame grows bigger in our minds, and the rumblings of rage continue to grow in intensity beneath the surface. As it continues to fester like an open sore, it starts to impact those around you who had nothing to do with the blame game that you decided to play. That’s when it gets to a dangerous point – because if you don’t deal with the blame it, could actually isolate you and could, in fact, destroy your relationship with even those whom you love and with those who love you.
No one wins the blame game
What is the point of playing any game where there is no winner? The only reason that I ever played sport was that there was a 50-50 chance of me winning. But in the blame game, there are no winners. Both sides lose, and the blamer is ultimately the biggest loser. Why? Because the blamed continue to live their lives without any thought of the blame. They are, at times, even totally oblivious to the fact. But as the blamer, we are fully engaged in the blame game.
I remember when my sister-in-law came up to me years after we had all been married. She blurted out that she was still blaming me for something I did or said when we were at school together. I couldn’t even remember it. She had been stewing on it for years – suffering as the blamer. I suppose it was good that she finally dealt with the blame, but what a waste of energy to carry the blame for so many years.
There are no winners when it comes to the blame game.
So how have you, throughout your life, broken out from being caught up in the blame game?