We are raised to be a good person and from our childhood, we have been taught what to do and what not to do.
As you go along and become more aware of what is going on around you then you start to say NO or your opinion.
Well, this might work in that family where your opinion as a child or teenager accepted which is the right way because you have your feelings, opinion, view to share, story, disagreement and all that is coming from you the way you see things.
There are dysfunctional families where they don’t care about you, your feelings, your opinion, no matter what you want or what you would like, not even your viewpoint or beliefs. When the parents shut you down by might saying you have no rights to say anything because you are just a child so you should shut up and raise you that way where you will not matter at all and anything about you. Become emotionally neglected or even abused for being you or say a word. Push you down so in later in your life your protection system would not allow you to protect yourself because of that trauma and fear. That effect of the trauma can keep you stuck and reliving the experience. You can develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, anxiety, depression, weight issue, having flashbacks, nightmares, things, smells trigger you and make you avoid situations which are just holding you back from living a healthy and happy life.
When you start to stand up for yourself or say an opinion or mention that you don’t like it then this thing is coming up that you are a bad child or children and you are hurting then person by saying literally that you don’t like that treatment. This is more a feature of a narcissistic person who tries everything to keep you under their control.
When you love those people as a child and you have no idea what is going on your turn to that person who is going to please them and just will not say it out what you want to say because you are scared that they might not like you, love you or accept you by having your opinion and protection for yourself.
Is this familiar to you?
Have you ever been pushed down and not allowed to have your voice and be yourself?
When you go with the second one where your opinion and being you should be pushed down even your feelings and the way you are and you just don’t matter.
Guess what happens….
Then you end up in that environment I mean friends, workplace, relationships, school and attract all those things and people around you the way that you just will not be accepted, appreciated, not matter at all, not even your opinion or talent and in you overall what you have inside or who you are.
Attracting the wrong people and the wrong situation where those feelings are recreated.
So this is when you create that pattern or cycle and repeating over and over again having the same.
It is influencing the way you feel and the way you think. Thoughts and emotions are working together. So when you feel down and rejected you have that negative type of thoughts and it can become a belief the way you interpret the situation.
Not being able to speak up or have your voice, power or opinion will affect your life in the way that you will be scared to express your feelings, yourself and can lead you to depression.
Also, the fear of being you and standing up for yourself or contribute to a group will hold you back and you will be scared if you speak or express your feelings because if you do then you might not be loved or accepted so you become to feel different and not able to connect.
There is also another stage when you become a people pleaser, codependent and do everything for the people around you to be accepted, loved and you start to lose who you are and become a creation of those things and the limiting beliefs will cover the real you.
What you have to realise is that you don’t need other people to get love or be loved. Love is unconditional and it is free no one needs to work for but you have to feel it.
It all starts with you so you have one life but multiplied opportunities to trust this around.
So start to so what is unfamiliar and make that familiar.
As that negative situation or treatment from childhood become familiar to you and might think that was love but that was not. Those people will never love you because they can not love themselves. Love is positive, kindness, understanding, support, courage, appreciation, allow you to be yourself freely and independently you don’t need other people to be yourself. You need to bring up and show who you are inside.
Don’t be hard on yourself. Don’t learn that behaviour. Don’t start to blame or criticise yourself for all. It is not your fault.
Be your best friend!
How would that best friend help you?
Being a good person that doesn’t mean you should let others treat you bad and you cannot stand up for yourself or do against it. Learning to say no and how you can be and heal yourself is the best gift you could ever get.
So don’t hide behind the weight issue, depression, or others.
Be yourself and feel your feelings, let yourself out because the feelings that can not find its expression will cause other organs to weep.
People will accept and love you if you do that first because to receive love you have to love yourself first, appreciatee, respect, feel and know that you are matter and you are enough just the way you are.
Be brave enough to be yourself.
