You never know what life’s going to hand you from one minute to the next. One minute you’re riding down the trail, comfortably on the back of a beautiful mare watching the sun stream through the leaves of the trees, and the next minute you’re on the ground, covered in mud, looking at the bottom of your horse’s hooves. It seems even when we have everything planned perfectly that something gets thrown in that we didn’t see coming.
We’re trained to look for what may go wrong.
I spent a lot of years being afraid to get too excited about the good stuff. I believed the rug was always going to get pulled from under me. It meant I spent a lot of time looking for what was wrong in my day, in my relationship, or in any given moment, because I was so scared to fully enjoy the moment. It felt more comforting to look for what was wrong in the moment so that I didn’t have to worry about being too happy and everything falling apart.
How many of Life’s Curveballs have you let take you out of the game?
But today, I know I can look at things a little differently. I’ve made a conscious choice to live fully in the moment, and trust that whatever comes along I can handle. I got this by reviewing my life and creating a “I’m a badass” list. In doing so I realized I had handled all the situations that came my way. Isn’t it funny how we can go through life living in fear of the unknown and whether or not we can handle what may come around the next bend? And yet we’re all thrown curve balls in life on a regular basis. Some are curvier than others and we hit them with less grace. There may be times when we fall and have a melt down before we hit the ball but we always hit the ball don’t we? Even if we’re lieing in the dirt and all we can muster is rolling it with our nose? I mean really think about it, how many times has life thrown you a ball full of spit and you just curled up and stayed there? When I finally realized that I lived so much of my day in fear and worry because I didn’t think I could handle whatever came my way, I started reflecting on how many times in my life I hadn’t handled whatever situation that arose, and the answer was none. I’ve handled, survived and even thrived through each experience. The grace with which I went through the situation wasn’t always pretty but I kept walking and came across the other side.
What about you?
Can you actually be happier after challenging times?
I’ve lost a relationship, job and home all at the same time TWICE in a 5 year span and I am still here to talk about it. And I was HAPPIER after each event! The fact that it happened once certainly made the second time much easier as I’d already tread those waters, and found after such a profound loss I ended up much happier, with more love and joy in my life. Who knew! How often in your life have you found this to be true, that after a challenging spell, at some point, you gain more clarity and more appreciation for your life?
What I’ve found for myself is that when everything fell apart, the biggest obstacle I had to face was my own shame, my own sense of self worth. So when things fell apart, I immediately thought it was because I missed something, I let a piece of the puzzle fall down somewhere behind the couch. I just kept thinking, ‘what’s wrong with me’ I should’ve seen that coming, I should’ve known, even though I wasn’t told. It’s funny isn’t it? When I stop and look at what I think I should know, that I should be superwoman and in my presence nothing should go wrong, I just have to laugh now. It’s so ridiculous. Why did I do this to myself? Why did I think I had to be omniscient?
I don’t know the answers to any of these questions but I do know that I have a choice, in each moment to do something about the situation and to release blame and shame. When I stop wallowing in “why me”, “what’s wrong with me”, “why did this happen to me”, and just accept and allow the situation to be what it is and fix it, then life’s more enjoyable. I enjoy knowing that I can absolutely handle anything. I don’t have to create this big drama about how I’m an awful person. I don’t have to feel anxious or overwhelmed. I can just look at my ‘I’m a badass’ list of all the things I handled. I can keep moving forward and look for what’s good in the moment.
Do you have a ‘I’m a Badass’ List?
When was the last time you stopped and reflected on everything you’ve done right, and just appreciated yourself?
You can do it now (no need to feel bad because you didn’t do it sooner! ?)
Most of us have been thrown a huge curveball right now. Are you going to let it hit you in the head or at least try to hit out of the park?