“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” Steve Furtick

A healthy level of self esteem – confidence – is often the single best indicator of those who will get what they want out of life – versus those who will not.

Whether it’s asking for a payrise, running a marathon, approaching that cute guy in Sales or committing to learning a new skill – you just know that friend with the ‘chutz-pah’, the energy, the ‘smarts’ (read ‘confidence’) is going to be the one to do it first?

Why? Because they believe they can.

So, how can we distil what it is that confident people actually do – knowingly or otherwise – and use it to our own advantage?

Follow the steps below to see how you can significantly improve your sense of self worth, and the outcome of just about everything you do in your daily life;

  • Decide What It Is That You Want

Have a positive vision. When you expect good things to happen you are already way ahead of most people around you!

  • ‘K.I.S.S.’ (‘Keep It Simple, Stupid!’)

Don’t be offended by this acronym. It has been around forever, but is relevant to so many things in life! When you want something, don’t overthink it endlessly. Keep the finish line in mind and work towards it without fanfare. Avoid the ‘noise’ and distractions of those around you. Focus is key.

  • Own It

Once you make a decision to do something – whatever it is – have faith and stick to your guns. Feeling self assured in your decisions is half the battle won.

  • Who’s The Boss?

It’s a fact of life that most people err on the side of caution. Don’t allow others to drain your enthusiasm for anything that is important to you. You must live your own life.

  • Be Confident In Your Choice Of Language

Picture two candidates interviewing for a sales job. One might say. “Yes. I’ve got a lot of experience working with people at many different levels,” as opposed to; “Well, I’ve got a bit of experience, but not that much.” (Cue nervous laugh). Who do you think is going to get the job?

  • Learn To Say ‘No’

Confident people prioritise things in their lives to ensure they have sufficient time and energy to do them. When something just won’t fit your schedule or priorities be firm and say no. You will be surprised at how this simple act can command respect from others.

  • Don’t Make Negative Assumptions

“I’d never get an interview at that company!” (Why not?)

“My boss would never agree to that idea!” (Are you sure?)

“My articles are no where near good enough for that publisher” (Says who?)

“They’d want someone much younger than me for that position!” (How do you know this?)

Remember this; If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.

One of the keys to getting what you want in life is to confidently ASK.

  • Be Courageous

Open new, sometimes unexpected doors with your positive, confident manner. Even confident people have to push themselves at times.

  • Don’t Shout About Your Wins

It may seem a strange contradiction, but confident people don’t need to bore others about their successes. They let their success speak for itself. Always be humble.

  • Accept Failure When It Happens

A confident, adventurous spirit bypasses the paralysing fear of failure. When things do not go according to plan, confident types learn a lesson – and move on.

  • Practice The Attitude of Confidence

As with all things in life, practice makes perfect. It takes a lifetime of concentrated effort to cultivate a confident, self assured stance on things that are important to us.

Above all else, remember that to be successful, happy and confident, you do not need to be rich, nor beautiful, nor young, nor wildly talented – just to believe in yourself and your own capabilities. Never let anyone take that unique drive and spirit away from you – nor dampen it.

Confidence is a highly attractive trait in a person, so we can all learn from our self assured peers.

So now I ask you: the next time you consider a challenge, will you say “I can’t do it”, or “I CAN do it!” ?

Ps Can you clearly think of a recent occasion when the trait of self confidence – asserting yourself in a positive way – has worked in your favour?

Originally published at www.sarah-virag.com