Getting over a relationship is hard and when it is a toxic one, the hurt multiplies many times over. There are so many factors that keep you hooked to a relationship that only causes you to hurt. Some of us are afraid of change while some are in clear denial. Whatever, the reason be, it is possible to break free from a toxic relationship and get your confidence again. Howard Halpern in his book How to Break Your Addiction to a Person leaves some deep insights on getting an out from toxic relationships and also some fun tips to help get your confidence back again.
It’s not just a romantic relationship that has to be toxic. It can be a friendship, a mother-daughter relationship, the relationship between co-workers and likewise. If you are finding it hard to break free from a toxic relationship, here are some tips to help you out.
Get out of denial
Sometimes you don’t cut the cord from a relationship that has become toxic, because you are in denial about the fact that your relationship is really a toxic one. You need to get out of this pit of denial to really see for yourself what exactly is going on. You can start by considering basic things like, do you feel more energized or tired after spending time with said person? Do you really like spending time with them or do you feel like you have to? Do they consistently disappoint you with their comments or actions? If you have a negative answer to all of these then you probably are in denial and should review your perspective.
Identify the ingrained issues within yourself
One reason that people tend to hold on a toxic relationship is that in some twisted way they find a comfort level in the relationship. Does the toxic person remind you of someone? Does helping someone even though it completely exhausts you make you feel like your life is easier than theirs? Ask yourself these questions, so that you can figure out what is making you hold on. Unless you see it for yourself, you can’t make the conscious decision of letting go.
Do your own work
When you have just gotten out of a relationship, you may get the impulse to call them back again and check on them. But you should refrain from doing such. Nobody likes change and even if your relationship was a toxic one, you might get the urge to falling back to past habits again. One way to avoid this is by keeping yourself busy. Do your own work for some time. How many things have you held up for later? It is a great time to get back to them. Dust those books that have been collecting dust, look out for the air conditioning services and get all the pendings done that you have been holding off for a long time, get back to the hobbies that you loved doing before your relationship. This way, you get to spend time with yourself and thereby put the focus back on yourself.
Get in touch with your friends
You don’t have to go through a painful situation alone. Your friends are there for a reason. When going through tough situations in life, you can rely on your friends to bring positivity to your life. Don’t always try to get through everything alone, surround yourself with positive friends who will help you get through it.
Stick to your decision no matter what
When you have made the decision of cutting the cord to a toxic relationship, stick to it. It is quite normal for the brain to think about the good times and avoid the bad parts and this may make you want to bring that person back into your life. In such times, think rationally and think about the bad parts as well, what made you leave initially. Remember that you made this decision for your own growth and so stick to it.