The best thing is to cut them out of your life. But unfortunately, that is not always an option, because it is family, a co-worker or whom so ever. Well, that means we are going to learn to live with it.

First things first, what are toxic people, that are people who always create drama in everything, critical about themselves and others, it is all about them. Maybe they are a bit related to the narcissistic people. I guess you could compare them. There is even a mix of these two personalities. I hope I never meet those.

If you know a person who always is letting you prove yourself to him/her or they are never caring or interested in what is important to you, well my dear, that is your toxic person in your life. Everyone has them or better said had them if you were able to cut them out of your life.

They create drama because they love it when other people feel sorry for them, that is their way of getting attention, and they will keep creating drama to have your attention. This means it will pull your energy out of you because they will never give you something back. Even when it looks like they are also there for you, think again… “Are they really?”

What to do with toxic people in your life, first make a list. What do you like and dislike and what are the toxic characteristics of this person?

1.    Set boundaries

They hate that! Toxic people like to control everything when you set boundaries in the things you can control. Do it! But overall set boundaries for yourself. Do not invest a lot of effort into those people and talk about light topics. Keep in mind that toxic people will be listening for anything you say that they can spin to make themselves look better.

2.    Recognize and distance yourself from their behavior

Do not let them drag you into their behavior. Always have a look at what they are doing; they love to speak badly about other people. When this happens ask yourself “Do I value this person opinion?” and “Is this person worth it to get me upset?” If you answer is NO on both questions, do not worry about it then! Toxic people have the power to upset you if you let them upset you. If you can’t distance yourself physically, can distance yourself emotionally.

3.    Take their talk light

They will always talk about problems, negative things, et cetera, focus on the positive when talking to them and do not try to change their mind. They are not going to see how you see things, talking about others to make their self, feel better is there a best moment of the day.

4.    Do not expect a “Sorry”

They will never apologies and when they do say Sorry see how they say it. Because they will never mean it.

5.    Distance yourself more and more

If you can cut this person out of your life, do it! Just have less and less contact and choose for yourself. Choose to have healthy relationships. If a toxic person is someone you cannot cut out of your life (because it is your sister in law, e.g.), make sure to distance yourself from their behavior as explained in number 2.

Reflect on what you have learned. There is always a learning process in every friendship or relationship. Reflect on what you have learned in this experience with this toxic person in your life. Learn from it and help yourself recognize the toxic people from now on in the early stages.

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  • Stephanie Steggehuis

    NLP Mindset & Time Management Coach

    Just Know How Coaching

    Stephanie was born in The Netherlands and studied Marketing & Communication at the University of Applied Sciences in Amsterdam. She worked for many years in the Event & Entertainment Industry with the biggest Venues, Festivals and Parties. Beside her experience there she has also worked many years in the corporate world for some big names such as eBay and worked in various positions in different companies from Manager, Director and Vice President.  Today she is certified as a Neuro-Linguistic Programmer Coach and has completed over 125 hours in training for coaching. She always is studying the human brain, psychology, and mindset, to keep understanding the human being a hundred percent to help her clients in the best way possible. The most significant changes start with understanding the brain!