One of the biggest problems with the issue of divorce is the fact that even in countries where the percentage reaches staggering rates of 40 percent, the majority of people are still convinced that this could never happen to them… until it does. Nonetheless, in 2019, this is nothing shocking or unprecedented and in order to make the first move in the right direction, you need to accept it as such. Once you’re done with this, what you need to do is help those around you accept it, as well. With that in mind and without further ado, here are four tips to help minimize the stress for your family members during your divorce.

Understand why this is a good thing

Provided that the pair that’s getting separated has children, what they need to do is first explain to themselves that a good divorce is better than a bad marriage for everyone. The couple that splits usually has a tad of conscience issue, seeing as how they fear the way in which this will affect their offspring. The problem is that they often forget to think is the way in which it would affect their kids if they were to stay together in this toxic community. 

A lot of guides suggest that you should start by talking to your kids, however, kids are known for reading emotions far better than listening to what you’re saying. Therefore, you must first come to terms that this is, indeed, the best course of action, before you decide to tell this to your kids.

A legally fair split

One of the most venomous things that could happen in a divorce is the scenario where one side feels cheated out of something that they feel like they own. This is why it’s important that both parties sit down with legal representatives specializing in family law, like the ones from The Legal Advisory Service and have a chat about their rights. This way, both parties will be familiar with what are their options, possibilities and possible outcomes. Sure, there are many personal reasons why one party may still hold a grudge but as long as the legal side of the separation is ended with a true compromise, this will become somewhat less likely.

Take care of yourself

People who are close to you won’t have that much of an issue with the divorce itself. What they’ll be bothered by, the most is the way in which it affects you. Provided that you’re still taking care of your body, aren’t neglecting your work and getting on with your life, they’ll be a lot less concerned. This is where the good old show-do-not-tell rule is particularly important. Sure, keeping up with your routine and pursuing your goals will be quite hard under these circumstances. Nonetheless, if you want to protect those you love, you need to make this tiny personal sacrifice.

Think (but don’t overthink) your divorce

The last thing you need to understand is the fact that an issue that caused the separation might be a recurring problem unless you diagnose it. Nevertheless, obsessing over the thing of the past is never good advice. So, take your time to think this entire ordeal through but don’t dwell on it more than you have to. You should also realize that even in the most extreme of circumstances, it’s never the fault of a single party, even if all that the other party did wrong was choosing the wrong person to start a family with.  

In conclusion

Make no mistake, you will be the one who is hurt the most by this course of events. Nonetheless, even in these moments, you need to allow your protective instincts to come to life and do all that you can to alleviate at least some of this stress from those who you care about the most. By protecting them, you’ll help yourself heal, as well.


  • Stella is an art historian, traveler, conscious consumer and a proud mother. When she is not trying to improve the things around her (and herself, for that matter), she likes to lose herself in a good book.