Whether you’ve just been together for a few years or you’re married to your childhood friend, maintaining a healthy relationship during your fourth decade can be an exciting adventure. At this age, you’re either polishing up your relationship skills or learning new ones. Maybe things are starting to stagnate in your union, and you want to induce a fresh breath of excitement. Whatever the case, maintaining the spark is essential to a long-lasting and satisfying relationship.
So, we asked Sandra Larson, a nurse and relationship coach, for four tips for a healthy relationship after 40. Let’s check them out!
1. Practice Positive Communication
Positive communication entails being honest and outright. What you say and how you say it affects your partner’s feelings and emotions. For instance, if you don’t like something, point it out right away and offer an alternative, if possible. Most importantly, avoid criticizing them for their shortcomings. Instead, focus more on what your partner is good at and mirror it to encourage them to change.
Positive communication also includes active listening and giving appropriate feedback. Regardless of how unimportant you consider the chat to be, offer your undivided attention to your partner. Avoid using the phone or replying to a text during the conversation. Giving your partner the focus they deserve builds on a sense of importance and appreciation, two things you’ll need to maintain a healthy relationship after 40.
2. Convey Their Importance to Your Life
Besides practicing positive communication and active listening, making your partner feel important to you is essential. Use your words and actions to convey your love and appreciation every chance you get. Avoid getting trapped into thinking that your partner can read your thoughts just because you’ve been together long enough. Tell them what they mean to you and say it with the same passion as you did when you met them. Of course, things will change in the relationship over time, but words and actions are still necessary.
It doesn’t have to be expensive gifts either. Anything that comes from a good place should be enough to convey love. Whether it’s a card, an unplanned weekend getaway, or a date at their favorite restaurant, there are numerous ways to show your love.
3. Be Vulnerable
Regardless of your age, being honest with yourself and your partner is an excellent tip to maintaining a healthy relationship. You can’t be afraid to be yourself and convey your personality. More than any other time, being vulnerable after 40 allows for honest understanding between partners. Being committed to the relationship’s reality and honesty enables you to close any communication gaps that may have been created, thereby promoting a healthy union.
Being vulnerable also means that couples must practice forgiveness. Most people in relationships put on an act because of the fear of judgment and what the truth might get them into in the long run. So, forgive your partner when they’re wrong and avoid dwelling on past occurrences.
4. Enjoy Time Together Without Overstepping Each other’s Independence
Another secret to enjoying each other after 40 is having fun together. Come up with creative ways to enjoy each other’s company other than a date night. As you grow older, the need to seek a deeper understanding of life overtakes ‘quick’ pleasures. So, instead of going to watch a movie every other time, consider taking a class together. You can even go for an excursion trip somewhere new. Trust me! It’ll be more fulfilling and satisfying.
Contrary to popular belief, being independent in a relationship conveys mutual respect and allows you to ‘miss’ your partner. So, regardless of how close you might be, support your partner’s independence and life goals. Don’t lose yourself in the relationship. Spending time alone to work on your goals and social friendships allows both of you to enjoy time individually, so when you meet again, the mood is positive.
In conclusion, maintaining a healthy relationship regardless of your age won’t happen overnight. It takes time, perseverance, and creativity to draft a plan to remain stronger together while still supporting each other’s independence. So, practice positive communication, tell them what they mean to you, be vulnerable, enjoy time together, and slot in a sex toy.
Remember, life starts at 40. So, enjoy it to the fullest!
Nick Wall