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It starts when you’re young. You’re being compared to your peers at school, your siblings, and cousins. Whether it’s about school grades or sports achievements, you compete with them all the time. You want to be better than them by all means.

As you get old you begin comparing other metrics: job title, house size, income, and level of success. You want people to love, appreciate, and admire you.

At the same time, you’re full of insecurities whenever you see someone more prosperous than you.

You start thinking you’re not good enough.

It ruins your mood and your confidence. Eventually, it ruins your whole life as everyone seems to be better than you.

‘Comparison is the thief of joy.’ Theodore Roosevelt

Unfortunately, the number of categories upon which you can compare yourself is infinite. The list goes on and on.

It never ends until you decide to stop it.

If you’re willing to give up on that, here’s what you need to do:

1.Forgive everyone who ever hurt you. Forgive those who made you believe that you need to compete with others. Forgive your parents for having too high expectations for you. Forgive them for not enough love, appreciation, and support.

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Photo by Caroline Hernandez on Unsplash

Once you’ve done that, you release pressure from your life. The pressure of comparison, proving others that you’re worthy.

Your self-belief and self-esteem need you to fix imaginations and assumptions about yourself. Healing them also requires forgiving yourself for everything. If you don’t do that, you’re not able to find your true worth.

Although it’s hard to accept, the world bestows us the same respect, love, and attention that we give ourselves.

2. Love your past. It’s what has created you. Every moment and experience in your life has taught you something. Instead of regretting your past behaviors, look at your every life experience as a lesson. Be grateful for all of them.

Stop feeling guilty of being who you are, what you think, what you say or what you want.

The more anger toward the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present.

In order to heal your living, you need to feel okay with who you are or who you used to be. You need to understand your intentions. When you stop blaming yourself, you’ll eliminate your self-doubt. You’ll be aligned with your true self.

3. Do a social media detox. Delete all your social media apps from your phone. Clear your mind from all the ideal images of #lifegoals. Nobody’s life is perfect as they show it on social media. The truth is, you don’t know what goes on behind the scenes. Everyone has some problems and bad days. We are all humans.

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Don’t spend time looking at other people’s lives. Imagine how much better use of your time and mental energy could go on things you actually care about. Instead of constant scrolling through Facebook or Instagram, give more attention to your loved ones and yourself.

Taking a break from social media will give you a chance to take back and evaluate what’s most important in your life.

4. Compare yourself with you. Strive to be the best possible version of yourself. Commit to growing every single day. Try to be at least a little better than the day before. In a year you can be a completely different person that the other people will look up to.

Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today. No matter how good you’re at something, there’s always someone out there better than you.

Never compare yourself to anyone, except the previous you.

Learn how to celebrate your small success. Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually. Fall in love with the journey to a better life.

5. Find inspiration, not comparison. Everyone successful now had numerous amounts of failures in the past. Be open to find inspiration and learn from others. Don’t look at the achievements of other people and envy them. Think about what you can learn from them in order to succeed.

Every minute you spend wishing you had someone else’s life is a minute spent wasting yours.

Ask questions the people you admire or read biographies as inspiration. Take advantage of that knowledge and do something that will make you proud.

6. Realize that no one is perfect.

No one is perfect. Love yourself as you are, and train hard to become the best that you can be.

Everyone has their own flaws. We all know that. But sometimes we try to reach unobtainable perfection.

You can’t be a good lawyer, an outstanding doctor, and an excellent singer at the same time. You can be decent in all of these things but you most likely won’t master them all, as it usually takes people a lifetime to be exceptionally good at one thing. You don’t want to be a jack of all trades, master of none.

That makes you imperfect. But that imperfection makes you who you really are. Learn to accept and be okay with that.

7. See your strengths. There is something that you’re good at. You have your own unique experience and talents.

Don’t push your weaknesses, play with your strengths.

You have the ability to love, serve, and contribute. You have everything you need to accomplish greatness in your world. You’re the only person who can change something in your life. Find your motivation to pursue your success. There are endless possibilities that you’ve been given as a human being.

As you go through the following steps, you’ll become your better self. You’ll leave behind your back all the insecurities and doubts that you’re having now. You’ll no longer sabotage yourself.

Remember. You have only one life. Choose to live your own not someone else’s.