Becoming involved with a toxic person can seem inevitable if you have been through the situation time and time again. There are ways to break this cycle, but it begins with being honest with yourself and past relationship patterns. Acknowledging that there are reasons behind harboring a toxic relationship, or being led into one, can give you answers on how to avoid them.
Take a gander at the picture as a whole, and do not be afraid of taking your time in a budding romance.
Main Reasons Toxic Relationship Occurs
When past trauma is left closed in a closet, for no one to deal with, not even yourself, it can grow into large emotional issues. Our society will have some involvement with this, it is almost a cultural standard to avoid dealing with basic human emotions. This, among a few more, is a major reason why toxic relationships occur, and the first step in knowing how to prevent it.
Unrealistic Relationship Expectations
You can break down the cycle of a relationship. Most arise from infatuation, where sexual attraction is prevalent, and a romantic endeavor is pursued immediately. People see an escapade of love and unreal expectations, but it is still the basic standard of how a relationship comes about.
Most relationships will go through a honeymoon phase, whether it will become a toxic relationship or not. During this phase people will ignore their partners flaws, or red flags because of the ecstatic feeling of new attraction.Many people hide aspects about themselves that are unsavory. It can seem easy to reason this to yourself, since you are in active pursuit to have someone like your person.
Love is usually thought of as an irrational feeling, or a random, hectic part of the human experience. While a portion of people’s love lives follow these standards, love is actually very rational, if you can decipher your emotions.
After a while, those hiding things will begin to let them surface as comfortability increases in the relationship. We follow the aforementioned time frame, which is ingrained in our society’s view on relationships, but if we can begin to switch these instances, there can be more focus put on the unveiling of dirty laundry, earlier.
How To Solve It
Rather than going from one relationship to another, take time to really know the other person. Understand all of the great qualities that attracts you to them, but also know the negatives that will come with the package. Having a casual relationship, and holding off on making things serious is vital if looking for red flags (these will not be apparent at first.)
Red flags cannot be ignored, no matter the beaming qualities they otherwise have. Use as much time as you need to fully see the person’s real personality and habits, rushing into a serious relationship can.
It is never too late to end relationships too damaging to your spirit, or even worse scenarios.
While patience can be difficult, precaution needs shown to avoid the other signs.
Making honesty an important staple, early on, is a great way to connect to another with the same standards as yourself.
Unacknowledged Emotional Baggage
Having emotional intelligence is easier said than done. Knowing what choices and outside influences have lead you to where you are emotionally and physically is a start in breaking the cycle of toxicity.
Those with low self-esteem are more likely to make excuses for the negative behaviors shown from their partner. When you think you deserve the ill treatment, it is harder to put an end to it.
If you find yourself in a toxic relationship there are two reasons why staying is an option. Putting up with the toxic person because of the unresolved inner conflicts that you have yet acknowledged makes it privy you will end up in the same situation again.
How To Solve It
Start the thought process of looking at this pattern, or similar behaviors that have led you into toxic relationships. Responsibility for our own actions is avoided by most, as well. Even if the other person is showing signs of toxic behavior, but always look at yourself and truly love the great aspects of your being.
Often toxic relationships are at fault of both parties, and the supposed victim can contribute to the main problem by not working on themselves as well, or even recognizing the signs. Through this you will work on yourself, bettering your coping mechanism, and ability to see toxic tendencies in yourself.
Honesty, with yourself and your partner, is key is seeing problems within yourself that can be causing abusive red flags. When honesty is stressed, you will learn all the history of that person, but only willingly of them. Tough conversations, like implementing important STD testing standards, should not be intimidating in a solid relationship.
Take time in the beginning stages of the partnership and let courtship last however long it needs to before committing to someone you do not know. Better yet, always believe you deserve more than toxic relationship after toxic relationship.