the relationship subconscious mind filter

Keeping Employees Nowadays Is Tough.

Now more than ever spotting your right employees got more challenging than ever. In its 2018 Employee Tenure Summary, the BLS reported, the median employee tenure was 4.3 years for men and 4.0 years for women. We don’t have the data for 2019, but we also know that this longevity varies by age and occupation while retention becomes a catch and release game.

That is why any tool that can help you as an employer to at least predict retention probabilities can be a game-changer. And here comes the undeniable utility of the mindset method. I call it the mindset method because it uses one of the subconscious mindset filters – involved to run us on autopilot. And so, working with the filters is like hacking someone’s brain.

This Method Works!

how to find your best employees

Every time I used this method it was stunningly accurate. I mean I did it in my training with 10, 20 people, or in private coaching. I did this while helping companies with new hires. I did it with my husband, he with his colleagues. Same amazing accuracy.

The only downfall is I didn’t use it enough or speak about it when it’s so valuable for all of you to know. It can save you time, money, or at least prepare you for some changes in the near future. I couldn’t do it with myself because, you know, I was already spoiled with the rules. But other than that it worked magic.

Not to mention it works the same for relationships. That can get intriguing. That’s because the subconscious filter you’ll use to determine the longevity of your new employee is called The Relationship Filter


The Mindset Method using The Relationship Filter

You’ll need 3 coins for that (nickels, dimes, euro cents, you name it). It doesn’t matter what type of coins, just to be the same – carrying the same value. They can be fake coins if you want. But you need them for this test.

Once you evaluate a candidate for the job, place the 3 coins in front of the person. Two of them should have the same orientation. Like if it’s a nickel you have two heads pointing straight up and one of the heads pointing at the other two, or in a different direction. If you use number based coins you orient the numbers straight up for two of the coins and one pointing in a different direction. You got the idea.

the mindset method

Now, ask this question:

“What’s the relationship between these 3 coins?”

the relationship filter

It’s crucial to not change the question, ask it exactly this way, using these exact words. This will give you the ability to hear their language using an ambiguous question based on similarities, not differences.

Now it’s time to listen. Consider every word they say. This way you’ll get the answer you’re looking for, based on 5 categories. You’ll include your new employee or candidate in one of these 5.

5 Types of Employees Based on Longevity

  1. Sameness
  2. Sameness with exception
  3. Sameness and differences equally
  4. Differences with exception
  5. Differences

You look for percentages. This way to can plan for the change.

employee longevity prediction

Let’s translate the data.

  • If your candidate will answer pointing out only the similarities between the 3 coins it means he or she is sameness. These are the lifelong type of employees who can stay at the job an entire life, or let’s say a consistent 20 years lifespan.
  • If your candidate lists the similarities, but in the end says something like, “Oh, but this head is pointing that way.”; “This one has different years.” Then we have sameness with an exception. They can stay at a job between 5 and 7 years.

You look for percentages and which comes first. ‘Sameness’ people will always start with similarities. Those with ‘differences’ will start with that.

  • In the case of ‘sameness with exception equally’, it doesn’t matter the order, just the percentage. “These coins have similar value, same color, but different years and spaced unevenly between each other.” Here we have a prediction between 2 and 5 years, but better yet 2-3 years.
  • The ‘differences with exception’ category will start pointing out those first. Your candidate will start with something like, “That head is not pointing straight up.” And continue with a couple more. But finally will add, “Oh, but they are all 5 cents.” You can count on 6 months up to 2 years. 
  • Finally, we have the ‘difference’ based employee, who’ll come up with a list of differences without saying anything about similarities. Count on a couple of months, up to 6. 

How Can You Use This Information as an Employer or an HR Professional?

how to choose the right candidate

First, don’t panic. Especially if you want someone badly but it turns out he/she’s in category 5, or 4, and you want that person around for many years to come.

  1. Evaluate the pros and cons. Is that person worth it to be an employee, even if you can’t guarantee how long it will stay? If the answer is, ‘Yes!’ – go to the next point.
  2. Plan for the change in advance.

Someone with the ‘difference’ filter on can stay longer at the job if the job itself changes in that period. If you can count on max. 6 months you need to plan new responsibilities, department changes, different schedules, and a different routine, or even title.

Here is the magic.

If that person perceives the change like a new opportunity it can stay.

Tip! The Coin Test Works For Remote Companies Too

remote interview

Since I am a promoter of a remote work environment, wherever is possible, let’s include the simplest way to use this method no matter where your employees are.

It doesn’t matter what kind of screening software you use. There are those cool quizzes where you can include this test. You can even do it through a simple form of a questionnaire (text and image).

If it’s a video interview you just include a slide to share during the question and listen.

Bonus Question

If the coin method is not available for whatever reason, here is another question you can ask.

What is the relationship between what you’re doing this year on the job and what you did at this time last year?

The same rules apply. Listen to the words your candidate is saying.



These filters are not good or bad. They reflect how you perceive the relationship between things in your life. How they are related to each other. Once you know what you’re dealing with you can plan things out.

The same goes for personal relationships. If your significant other is with you for 2 years and you know it’s ‘differences with exception’ (or sameness and differences equally) you understand it’s time to spark up the relationship or create some significant changes. If you want to keep that person of course.

I know it’s not ideal, especially if you are ‘forever’ sameness, but at least a big hallo is lifted from your head, and now you know what to expect and evaluate if the sacrifices worth the effort.

Note! Just to be clear. The Mindset Method using the Relationship Filter won’t take all the other evaluation methods out of the table. Your employee still needs to match the company, its culture, and be an overall good fit. And then the relationship filter can come into play.


⚠️ This article was inspired by the emails I received after this FREE Masterclass. It’s still running for a limited time. Feel yourself invited: HOW TO READ PEOPLE BY DISCOVERING THEIR SUBCONSCIOUS FILTERS.


Originally published at Mindset to Greatness


  • Dr. Cristina Imre

    Executive Coach & Mentor for Startup Founders & Executives | Serial Entrepreneur


    Throughout her career, Cristina has been focused on the idea of building and leaving a lasting legacy. For that, quality, purpose-driven, empathic leadership is needed at the top. An entrepreneur at heart, problem solver, executive by action, mindset expert as the usual self. The nonconventional way in which she combined experience and experiments became her hallmark. Cristina Imre served as a leader and executive in multiple industries, including, (but not limited to), healthcare, e-learning, banking, call centers and manufacturing, AI, real estate, financial services, marketing, sales, etc. Worked with multiple startups, SMB's and multinational distributed teams. By breaking down dysfunctional patterns in business, career, and personal life, she stresses the importance of self-improvement at any level. Through her two decades of research, testing, and application of unique and classical methods on business and leadership development, Cristina gained a unique insight into the world we live in and how we function as humans. Quoting her: "Our future is unwritten, and we can only move forward or regress by not improving ourselves, not learning from our history, and not thinking long-term. There is no middle road." Feel free to message her directly through LinkedIn if you sense there is a synergy to explore. P.S. She also wrote 4 books (2 non-fiction, 2 fiction) and you can find her articles around the web and her views on her social media channels, especially YouTube.