The biggest block my clients come to to with is :“ I am don’t trust myself, and therefore I don’t trust any of my decisions.”
Not trusting their intuition, decisions, etc. causes my clients stress, worry, and anxiety, etc… because they are not “sure” they are doing the “right thing.” Sometimes this is because of “past experience” and sometimes because of fear of the unknown a.k.a “future uncertainty”.
A bigger question usually arises in these conversations.
“What am I here to do? “ or, “What is my life’s purpose?”
I know I certainly have asked those questions myself a million times.
I think it is natural to ask questions about ourselves. I know I have literally used every modality out there to learn about myself. And what do I do with the knowledge?
In the beginning, I wanted this information to confirm my decisions. I wanted to know if I was on the “right path.” If I was doing the “right thing” that was in line with my purpose.
The benefit I received from all the knowledge I acquired did provide me a short reprieve from my mind. It made my mind rest for the moment, and gave me insights into areas to dive into for my self discovery.
But what I found underneath the question of, “What am I here to do?” or, “What is my life’s purpose?” was a myriad of emotions that created blocks to my inner voice that already knew the answers.
See, everyone has the answers within, but sometimes it is buried under what we learn, are told, etc. In my case I didn’t want to make a mistake.
The emotions usually accumulate into a phase I am sure you are familiar with – low self esteem – But what is low self esteem? I feel this phase is complex and not straight forward like, “I feel sad, or mad, or glad.” Low self esteem is more nuanced. And the underlying emotions are different for everyone.
So what, if I have low self esteem, now what? What can I do with that information? It wasn’t as easy to just feel esteem for myself.
For me, just knowing the information didn’t make me automatically feel better.
For me, low self esteem boiled down to not feeling validated or valued. I found, like my clients, that releasing inherited and trapped negative emotions connected to feeling unvalued on a cellular level was what made all the negative self-talk and need for external validation no longer necessary.
The good news is that I no longer undervalue myself.
What does this have to do with you?
Here is a very simple exercise you can implement CONSTANTLY throughout your day.
VALIDATE YOURSELF.
Give yourself praise, accolades, pats on the back, throughout the day. If you don’t think you have done enough to give yourself praise, then that is the moment to GO OVERBOARD! You need to give yourself even more praise!
Because here is the deal. If you don’t validate yourself. No one will ever validate you enough to fill that wound.
Commit to yourself that you are going to do this! It will make a HUGE difference in lessening the negative self talk!
Let me know in the comments below all the amazing words and ways of validation you are giving yourself.