I feel bad about it. I don’t really like the app but one evening I was bored and up for adventure. Well, I got it.

I am back on Tinder. Guilty as charged.

After one and a half year. After meeting him on Tinder and deleting it, I am back and having some “adventure” if you can call it that.

We met in a romantic spot in a little town I live. He looked good, too good. Btw, I super liked him accidentally because he is totally not my type.

And yet I decided to take a chance on a guy, besides what did I have to lose? Except maybe an hour out of my life?

I do this thing when I start talking with guys in English instead of German just to see if they’ll try even if they don’t speak English well.

He did. He obliged.

Although when I heard his extreme accent in person I was astounded.

Obviously, such superficial things aren’t important for me. The last guy who had an English accent I could barely understand turned out to be the cutest and the sweetest person I’ve ever known.

The guy in question was brought up in Germany which means perfect German but apparently poor English.

We switched to German later that night.

Before that I felt completely weirded out. We went for a walk, it seemed nice until he was “measuring” me. My height, my hands, the length of my hair and to add to that, he probed me for going to “his”.

I didn’t wear a dress and heels which I did when I was last on a date – one and a half years ago.

I didn’t think I seemed easy or gullible for that matter but apparently, my legs were long enough for him to make a joke about it and asking me to his place.

“But I’ll bring you back…”

“It’s not a good idea”

“Why not? Do you think we’ll have sex…nooo”,- he laughed weirdly

“You’re incredibly straight forward”, – dumbfounded I said

He took my hand and caressed my leg.

Wow, what the hell is he doing? Red flags were blazing in my head.

I told myself that this is awkward but maybe it’ll get better. Silly me

We went to my favorite book café in town because it was around the corner and had some tea and food.

When I took off my jacket all he looked at was my body, really tried to stay focused on my face when I talked and yet picked glances at my bum while I was sitting on it.

I could have killed the guy. But I was just bored and wanted to go home.

He couldn’t stop touching his forehead and gazing at my body while I tried to hide it as much as possible.

More than that I felt like I was a criminal on an interrogation at the precinct.

What do you do? Where do you work? Oh you study as well? So you don’t get that much money? What do you in your free time? (You asked me that already) Do you live alone? But you’re older than your colleagues, no? But it’s a great opportunity that Germany gave you, don’t you think? (Don’t you think you are a pretentious arsehole?)

When it came to paying, he was in a knight mode: “I’m inviting you” (that’s usually how Germans say it)

“You don’t have to do that”

My usual response, because he didn’t have to and I could have payed for myself.

“Oh, but sure I do. Besides it’s not expensive here.”


And for this I came out of the house? Should have stayed and watched a Christmas movie with my best friend.

He even dared to ask me what I thought about our an-hour-too-long-outing.

I tried to stay as neutral as possible. He was still an ass and implied that we’ll write each other.

“No way in hell” – I thought.

After complaining to pretty much all my friends, I thought not to bother to go on any dates, especially from Tinder.

A day later I have another date set for next Sunday.

You’d ask why

I’d say this:

One date doesn’t a life make. Haha

Just because I met one weirdo on Tinder doesn’t mean that all of them are like that. And as far as I’m concerned I have to get out into the dating scene more. It’s even in my resolutions: “Go on more dates to get over the fear of someone not liking me and finally just be myself.”

If they don’t like me the way I am – they’re not for me. And probably they aren’t. But it is like a training, the more you do it – the less it hurts.

Maybe somewhere down the line I’ll meet my person and it won’t hurt anymore to know that some feelings and some people never come back however you want them to.

I also need to finally realize that I might never feel the same ever again but I might feel something different, but something as good or even better than that time with him.

I’ll go on a limb here and take a chance on my life in 2019.