The pavement along the road in the spa town where my grandfather goes for his treatments every year, is uneven. I drop and fall off my bicycle, my knees covered in dirt and blood. I enjoy riding on four wheels. But on two? It is impossible to balance and find the right speed. My grandfather is guiding me from behind, but I know I only need to be left alone to find my own way, my balance, my speed. He is exasperated. «Leave it, it’s no use. Sit and have an ice-cream!», he says. I hear «You are no use». I am still no use at sport. Though I’m competitive and never give up. Oftenitmes, I’d still rather sit and eat ice-cream.
You see, some people, no matter how much they say they love you, they make you feel disabled in their presence. Or is it my own conception? I mean, not about the disabled part, but about them loving us. Because, in true honesty, if you love me, you encourage me, you never give up on me, and being around you, is a holiday. Trust me. Trust. This is what it is about.
Ever since that «drop off and drop it altogether» embarrassment , I never rode a bicycle again. I have wanted to buy one as a student in London, but what for? I was getting the morning train to go, the evening one to come, and I had no life to speak of, in between.
When I had my own family, the idea came back persistently. Have you seen all those picture-perfect families in L.L. Bean’s catalogues, having fun riding bicycles? Yap, that is what I wanted. No, this is not what I got. I got the @she is a weirdo look instead.
When I separated from my husband and I came to live in a seaside little town some 60 kms from Athens, the idea came again. I’ll buy a bicycle. I’ll do it all on bike. Ride on the esplanade. Go to beaches further away.
There are benefits to riding a bicycle.
You can grab it and ride to your destination. No fuel to buy, no worries about the price of a dirty liquid drilled somewhere in the desert, with thousands of people being killed for its sake.
Plus, the exercice. Moving those leg muscles.
Most of all, growing out of that 8-year old’s plump body, like a reptile outgrows its shirt.
Is there an object, an outing, an activity you would like to do, but still think about it? What steps are you taking to get what you want in life?