“Do you realize if you let me help you, that I would move mountains for you?” said the gentleman accompanying me on a trip, about 10 years ago. I was getting my bag out of the overhead bin on an airplane and he offered to help. I have always been an independent woman. I am fully capable of doing things for myself. It wasn’t about whether I “needed” help. It was about the vulnerability of being willing to receive from men.
The women’s lib movement told us that in order to be strong, we had to be independent, we had to fight, we had to resist allowing men to assist or contribute to us. That, we were told, was a sign of weakness. The other side of the coin was dependence and the idea that unless we had a man in our lives, we were somehow lacking. What if neither point of view is true? What if you are complete just as you are, with or without a man? And, what if, even though you don’t need a man, you could receive from them in various ways?
Wherever you may find yourself in this “needing a man” scenario, here are three tips on how to have more fun and more ease with receiving from men.
1. You are complete
The whole dynamic of men and relationship starts with this concept. Not only are you complete, not only do you not lack or need anything outside of you, you are actually the source for creating the life you desire. Until you know this, you will be constantly looking for someone or something to fulfill and satisfy you. Once you recognize that you are the one who can create your life, you stop expecting anyone else to meet your needs. You become needless and therefore able to create.
Not quite there yet? Still buying into the idea that you lack something? Here’s an easy tool you can use to change that. Every time you think that you are not good enough or that if you don’t have a relationship you are somehow incomplete, say to yourself, “Interesting point of view. I have that point of view.” What occurs when you use this phrase is that those points of view, which are currently real and true in your mind, simply become interesting and when they are simply interesting, you can let them go.
2. Receiving can be fun
Have you ever noticed that men like to be useful? That it makes them happy when they have a job? When women are willing to receive the kindness, generosity and assistance of the men around them, not because they need it, but because they can, everything is greater.
To receive from men, not because you need one, not because you have to, simply because you can, can be fun. What if you could ask for help if you need something fixed in your house? Even if you know how to fix it. What if you could allow the door to be opened for you? Even though you could open it yourself. What if that is not a weakness, but actually strength?
3. How many ‘husbands’ would you like to have?
I often joke that I have 5 husbands. I am not married to any of them; yet I endearingly refer to them as my husbands. I have a shopping husband. I have a husband that is fun to discuss business with. Various men with various ways in which they contribute to me. How much more fun would you be having if you could receive from the men in your life in business, as neighbors, or as shopping and champagne buddies? This is not about relationship. This is not about sex. It is about receiving with no walls and no barriers the gift of the men in your life.
The question really isn’t about whether you need a man. The question is, ‘Are you willing to know how great YOU are and are you willing to receive?
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