Do you ever just fantasize about running away to a different place? If someone comes up to you and hand you the key to live a different life, would you take it? I know that there are times when if someone asked me those questions, I will say yes without hesitation.
I have been eyeing this content for a while, and I’m pretty excited to get my baby an airline-approved stroller so she can come with me to my home country for a visit. But I am not always in this enthusiastic mood. There were days where I feel stuck, not just on the place where I am, but I feel stuck in being a mother.
Having Negative Emotions is Okay
Have you ever found yourself getting pissed much easier out of small things? It’s as if you’re noticing how quick you are to react negatively to a situation even if it shouldn’t bother you that much. Don’t be ashamed because I’ve been there too.
I found myself being angry just because my daughter forgot to say thank you when I handed her lunch box to her. I didn’t scold her or anything, but later on that day when she asked for help in her homework, I did shrugged her off. It’s embarrassing how petty I was with a child, really.
When you feel like you are unappreciated and it seems like no one notices how much you’re working hard, you’ll feel angry and sad. And emotions are powerful enough that they can affect your actions. But the ironic thing is you will also question yourself why you reacted that way. You are both invalidating and validating yourself, and it is tiring.
However, you have to understand that you are also human. Yes, you are a mother and a wife, but you are also you. You still have things going for you, and life isn’t always going to be always this tiring and mundane. And if you feel bad feeling bad, take it from me, it’s okay to feel those things.
The Feelings Get Overwhelming
When you’re already in that state of mind, the tendency to lean towards the more negative emotions is also easier. Understandably, you’ll get overwhelmed and tired. Let’s say that your day started with your husband forgetting to tell you he can’t pick the kids off school today. So you end up having to reschedule your day of relaxation at the spa. At this moment, you’re disappointed, but you’re still “okay.”
Then at work, your boss is in a sour mood, which also ruins your mood. You have to redo a presentation, and then you get a call from school that your son punched his classmate. You can’t go to school because you are busy at work. And when you come home, you tried your best to calmly ask your son what happened, but he just yelled at you to leave him alone. “You always have no time for me,” he said.
You can feel the tears building, but you just wipe them quickly because you have to prepare your dinner. You are calling your husband because you need him at the moment, but his phone is not picking up. So you thought, “When will this cycle ends? Why does I can’t even breathe for just a day?”
Another day comes, and you’re hoping that this time, it wouldn’t be as bad. But it still sucks, it just sucks differently. Over time, you’ll get tired of hoping, so you just put your emotions to sleep in order to function. But those emotions will just build up, and when it explodes, it’s going to be full of tears and anger. And then you came to the conclusion that this is it, this is all your life is going to be, you just feel trapped and hopeless.
You Will Be Fine
I know that you are probably in the mood where positive reaffirmations seem silly and that you want to slap them and say, “You just don’t understand!” But I will risk it and still say to you that you will be fine, really. Just trust me on this one.
Yes, it might seem impossible because you feel trapped in the mundane life of motherhood. You can see what your upcoming days will look like and so you have no drive to look forward to them. But just trust me, this haze will soon be over before you know it. You will regain the same enthusiasm and passion for being with your kids and doing all the mommy duties..
Sometimes, you’ll feel so overwhelmed by all the tasks and emotions that you won’t be able to recognize the small things and enjoy them. And before you know it, your kids are all grown up, and you became the mom who walk around the now quiet house missing them. You might have heard it before but, “Enjoy this time, your kids will grow up so fast.”
You see, sometimes what the people do and everything that’s happening around us aren’t always directed towards us. But at those moments, we feel like people meant what they do or say, and it feels like the world is taunting us with problems. You can’t and never will be able to control them, and while it’s okay to feel sad and angry, you also have a say on how you can react to a situation.
How to Unstuck From Being a Mom
There is no definite formula, but what works for me is when I start to let go of some beliefs, I found freedom on how to appreciate motherhood. In a way, it’s like hacking your way to see the good side of this seemingly mundane life because it isn’t really mundane.
Let go of your expectations, and don’t be disappointed if things don’t go the way they “supposedly” should. People change, and each day is unpredictable for everybody. This also meant that you don’t have to compete and compare how you are as a mom to other moms. And if you happen to feel like you’re not content, give yourself some appreciation instead of feeling disappointed.
It’s time to let go of your yesterdays. If you’re looking for a sign, this is it. You can always have a fresh start and a new perspective. If you got angry yesterday and you feel like apologizing to your husband, then do it. If you feel like your daughter is hurting your feelings when she dismisses your advice, tell her. With an open mind and a steady idea of who you are, motherhood isn’t a sea trying to drown you. Instead, it is a sea where you control how you can keep your boat afloat.