So you grew up in a dysfunctional family or the very least a somewhat chaotic like , or low affection family , this post is a must . You think you have moved past the hurt and pain from your childhood , but have you really? Those hidden childhood traumas can be covert and show up in different ways

It is impossible to go through childhood and not have any of your experiences affect you during adulthood. If you grew up in a very loving, affectionate home environment, chances are at some point in your adult life – depending on the situation – that these traits will show themselves again. We’re hardwired to copy all things adults do! You’ve seen how toddlers mimic their caregivers without even thinking? Same goes for us as we grow older . For those who had adverse or less-than ideal early years with feelings hurtful words being thrown around more often than hugs and kisses; it’s likely they’ll respond differently when confronted by fear, insecurity and stress.

A very common method of inflicting punishment is withdrawing treatment or attention from someone else. This can be especially harmful when it comes to a person’s sense of belonging and safety as well their self-esteem levels because they are being made feel like no one cares about them ,which makes people want to get away even more so. This unfortunately, causes a viscous cycle. Experts in this field refer to these behaviors as emotional abuse while others use terms such as mental cruelty or psychological maltreatment

Emotional abuse may take many forms. It can be as simple as, in a romantic partnership, where one partner says something to the other that made them feel upset. Instead of communicating concerns respectfully and lovingly, they shut up their significant other by ignoring them or being mood. This type of behaviour is often seen in relationships when people are withdrawing from each other. In some cases, these behaviour stem back to early childhood experiences which were abusive themselves, such as, neglecting an individual’s needs for attention/affection.

Once you have identified the experiences that evoked negative emotion, with an open mind, you need to explore situations in your current life where you might’ve felt ignored, rejected and taken for granted.

Honor your inner child. The inner child is the part of your personality that remains untouched by time. Whether you’re 20 or 90, there will always be a trace of it left inside you. To find out what parts from childhood have been negatively impacting your adulthood, we need to do is identify those moments when we felt ignored and unloved. For example, if you got bullied in school then this might make you feel like nobody cares about your feelings which may lead them to bully others as an adult too. Just like how toddlers watch their parents around them and try to mimic whatever they see- so our experiences growing up are conditioned into us; making decisions based on behaviours seen before can impact who people end up being later down the line .

If you find yourself feeling like your inner child needs some love and attention, now is the time to reach out. Childhood experiences can determine quality of life, relationships, and ultimate goals. I offer free consultations so please use the booking link for more information on scheduling an appointment today!

I know from personal experience how difficult it might be at first when reaching out- but don’t worry because my initial consultation are complimentary as well as appointments after that if needed. It’s never too late to take care of our little selves inside us who need a hug or two in this big world we live in sometimes.


  • Dr. Tomi Mitchell

    M.D | Leadership Coach| Wellness & Productivity Coach

    Dr. Tomi Mitchell Holistic Wellness Strategies

    Dr. Tomi Mitchell, MD, empowers executives, lawyers, doctors, business owners, and other leaders to eliminate burnout and increase workplace productivity and relationships.  She uses her three-step framework, Embrace, Evaluate & Energize, to empower her clients to have clarity. 

    As a public speaker and trainer, she brings energy to the crowd, captures their attention, and gives them clear, actionable steps to apply immediately to their life. Dr. Tomi Mitchell believes in getting to the root causes of life's challenges, instead of taking a temporary BandAid approach to life. She is a writer, with a book coming out in Summer 2023. She is also the host of The Mental Health & Wellness Show.  To learn more about her framework, check out the following link: Learn More.