For most people, the experience of developing a healthy relationship with a trusted partner is a top priority in life. On the other hand, unhealthy relationships can sour everything in a person’s day-to-day existence. The quality of a relationship will often determine the tone of our emotional environment; to this end, here are just a few questions to ask about the kind of environment that we’re creating for ourselves.
1. Are Your Boundaries Respected?
In terms of your relationship, you should often check in with yourself to see whether you feel comfortable asserting your rights and needs around your partner. Does your partner respect your boundaries when you stick up for yourself? Do you hide your true feelings from your partner out of fear of receiving a negative response?
Boundaries in a relationship are essential because they keep us happy and secure. Without a good set of boundaries in place, most people will build up resentment towards their partners. This can very easily lead to passive-aggressiveness and blow-ups. As you might imagine, that’s no way to live: If you really want to have a healthy and happy relationship, you need to have a safe emotional place to assert yourself.
2. Are You Treated With Respect?
For many of us, the experience of being around someone who can “dish it out but can’t take it” can be a very negative experience. People who put down others often project their worst qualities onto their partners. This can quickly lead to verbal abuse.
To wit, it is vital to ask yourself if you feel uplifted in the company of your partner. Do you come away from conversations with them feeling better about yourself or worse about yourself? Answering this question can be very difficult and can require a lot of introspection. However, doing so can also provide you with insight into the nature of your relationship.
3. Do Long-Term Plans Fill You With Happiness or Dread?
When you picture the coming years with your partner, are you happy with thoughts about the bright future that you’ll share? Or do you worry about what will go wrong? A healthy relationship should allow two people to grow and work together towards a better tomorrow.
Conversely, an unhealthy relationship will tend to fill people with feelings of dread. This is often referred to as “walking on eggshells”; to wit, some people are constantly worried about “setting off” their partner. This rollercoaster-like existence is dependent on the mood of another person. And it sure isn’t healthy!
This article was originally published on michellebeltran.org.