Worshipping and reviving the past is a practice that we constantly indulge in for better or for worse. We imagine and rightly so that the past was a golden age when evil had not conquered the world. Prices were lower, and pollution was less.
Rightly said, we would agree. Yet the same habit compels us to cling to the mishaps of the past, whether accidents, divorces, deaths, or whatever. Just like the annual observation of anniversaries, festivals, and holidays, we make it a point to remember the bitter chapters.
Just like happiness would multiply each time, unhappiness also has a cyclic pattern. Would it not be better to get rid of those painful thoughts and attempt to be more joyful? Like movies playing out in the cinema hall, those painful reminders exacerbate the bitter memories, and we end up feeling more and more miserable. Nothing is wrong with crying your heart out, though. You do feel so much better when the emotion is released.
Time, of course, is the greatest healer, and the greatest sorrows do fade with the magic touch of time. Initially paralyzed after a divorce or bereavement, time slowly heals the scars.
Letting go is usually understood as getting rid of attachments that bind us to the family and mundane life. The lesser attached we are, the happier we will be as we distance ourselves from whatever is stressful and give up material and familial desires.
Is it possible to rebuild your life so that we can delete the less happy parts that caused infinite pain? If you display a photograph of that spouse you separated from in the living room, what would be the impact? A painting or sculpture by the parent who died displayed in the bedroom? A daily reminder of the painful past would not help anybody but only intensify misery and tragedy.
Is it possible to seek a change of place or even find a different job to escape from bitter haunting memories and negative associations? Though attractive propositions, such an overwhelming change may not be possible. Can we change the entire bunch of friends because of guilt? Not likely. Is it possible to quit the family despite all the disturbing drama that takes place each day may be due to alcoholism or domestic violence?
We make such a big fuss about finding ourselves, but the task of re-finding yourself seems to apply in many cases. Reconstructing your life without all that bitterness would be a colossal task indeed. Being well-heeled financially, physically, morally, and emotionally robust would be significant advantages in the war you sometimes need to fight against a hostile society.
Yet finding what makes you happy and rejecting the dark chapters would have a stunning impact. Though exceedingly hard to forget and reframe your existence, with the help of time’s magic wand, giving up sad memories would ease the mind and spirit. Simply writing down what makes you happy may help to concentrate on the content and the present. Since the reason is king, many adopt meditation to find inner happiness and quieten the soul. Like cancers and ulcers, learn to delete the causes of unhappiness from the consciousness and believe in the happy present moments as long as they last.