Lately life has felt kind of flat. I have been working a typical 9-5
schedule, plus Saturdays, and simply haven’t had much time or energy to
think about myself. Eat, sleep, work, repeat. Sound familiar? I am going
to share a story with you about something that happened the other
night. Stick with me, because there is an important point at the end.

A few nights ago, I was catching up on a new TV show and my boyfriend Joe asked me, ‘Why do you even like this show?’ I told him the truth, which is that I love how these people get to work at a magazine, be creative and write all day. I know realistically there is no way that is ALL they do – it is TV after all. My point here is that I have always loved to write, so work that centers around writing intrigues me. There is something romantic, spiritual and sacred about taking a blank page and spilling out a story onto it whether it is for an article, a song or a poem. Your words can share a story or educate on a topic, start a conversation or reach a part of someone they had forgotten about or never even considered.

When I told Joe that I love what they get to do for their job every day, he looked right at me and said, “So, why don’t you do that?” Plain and simple. Yeah, why am I not doing that? Why had I not even considered it? I told him that would involve a lot of change, we would have to figure a lot of things out, we’d probably have to move to New York City, I don’t know what’s required to even begin. His response: “We can do that. I can get a job anywhere. NYC would be fun.” (I love Joe’s perspective.)

While I don’t want to immediately jump to NYC or a new job, the truth is that there are plenty of next steps available to me that I haven’t been taking. Writing more doesn’t even have to involve a career change, necessarily. I have ways to contribute now through this blog and with the music I write and perform. I can give more time to that and build a career that includes writing or get a job as a staff writer at some point if I really wanted.

I share all this to say to you; Is there something you want to be doing that maybe you just don’t see as possible? Consider this: Why not do that? What is stopping you? Usually, the number one thing that stops us is ourselves. Sometimes money or opportunity isn’t there, but we can still get creative and find a way to bring our desires to life in various ways. Often, there are limitations and blocks we have placed in our way that we may not be aware of. To explore those blocks you can:

Be curious: Ask yourself, some, or all, of these questions:

  1. What were your favorite things to do as a kid? What was something you were interested in doing from a young age?
  2. Who are some of your favorite book/tv/movie characters and why?
  3. What is something you think would be so cool, fun or exciting to do?
  4. How can you incorporate these interests into your life now?
  5. Meditate: Taking time to meditate and breathe can bring you back to
    your center, provide you with space and a more relaxed mindset to
    approach your life with.
  6. Free write – I also call this vomit writing. Take the pressure off
    and just spill out whatever words and ideas are circling around in that
    head of yours. It might not make any sense at first, but that’s okay. It
    gets you flowing and out of a rut. Free drawing can do the same for
    you, too.
  7. Take time to explore and learn. Consider taking a class or more
    deeply looking into what you want and see what comes up. Search people
    who do what you want to do and find out how they got there. Notice what
    comes up; Is there judgment or fear? What keeps you from signing up for
    something? If it’s money, can you find it somewhere for free or find
    ways to save up? Oftentimes places offer short free workshops or
    classes, especially at a fair or event. YouTube also has tons of free
  8. Get moving. Exercise helps release endorphins which will make you
    feel better physically and mentally. It also takes your mind off other
    things. Sometimes I get my best ideas while I’m running or right after
    because my brain gets a break as I focus on my body.
  9. Don’t let yourself get in your way. Allow yourself to explore with
    joy and without judgment. What do you want and why not go ahead and do

Creating momentum in your life that focuses on you and meeting your own needs is the ultimate kind of self-care. It’s important for us for mental health and spiritual growth.

What kinds of things do you do or would you do to support you in reframing your life and getting the benefits of self-care? I’d love to hear your thoughts! You can comment below.

If you would like to connect with me so I can help you discover your passions you can contact me here , here or at [email protected]

self care, counseling, psychotherapy, well-being, health


  • Samantha Murphy


    West Hartford Holistic Counseling Center

    Samantha Murphy is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Connecticut. She has a B.S. degree in Nutritional Sciences & an M.A. in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. Sam practices at West Hartford Holistic Counseling Center, counseling teens & adults who struggle with their relationship with food, eating disorders, body image, self esteem, anxiety and depression. When she isn't working, you can find her singing and writing around Connecticut and NYC.