Is it just me or does Mother’s Day hit differently this year because of Covid 19?

I woke up this morning with an unusual feeling this Mother’s Day. The questions ruminating in my mind were rattled with thoughts of “have I done enough?”….”did I let my fast paced, goal oriented, entrepreneurial life over the past two years take away time from my family?”. I found myself looking through pictures of my 4 kids this morning and realized how much I have missed because I have been living in the future more than the present.

One of the biggest and most life changing lessons that I have learned during Covid 19 was that I needed a reset. I needed to re-evaluate my fast paced life and stop living in the future. To stop saying “I will be happy when”. To live in the moment and see the beauty in today because it has everything I need. I need nothing else.

A common theme for many type A overachievers is that we don’t stop. We tell ourselves that after this next project or goal is reached we will slow down but we don’t. As soon as we reach that goal or finish that project we get an idea for a new one and we just have to complete that new idea but promise we will take a break after that one. The cycle continues.

That is me..always stuck in a cycle of achieving. I know exactly how I got in this cycle and it runs deep. At an early age, achieving gave me a sense of control and gave me confidence that I was okay no matter what was going on in my personal life. Having this drive to achieve is a gift but can also be a curse. It is hard to balance it and often takes things like pandemics for me to realize I am off balance again.

This Mother’s Day definitely hits different for me. I am reminded this year that my family is the most important thing to me. That material possessions mean nothing. That time ticks on so quickly. That every second of every minute of every day is a beautiful gift just as it is. I don’t need to do more, or to try harder to make it beautiful. It is beautiful without me needing to do a single thing but be present.