Mother’s Day always makes me cringe a bit. 

It’s a Hallmark holiday that’s nice and lovely on the surface. But let’s be real, there’s a lowkey social media competition that goes on, when everyone starts posting pictures of the oh-so-cute card or flowers or breakfast in bed that they got from their kids and husband this year. 

There’s nothing wrong with those posts or with the holiday in and of itself but I feel like there’s an underlying current of perfectionism that no one is addressing. So, I would like to call “bull- shitake” on the day and the guilt this holiday layers on. 

Being a mom comes with a lot of anxieties. Am I doing this right? Are my kids happy? Are they successful? Should I even care if they’re successful? Am I caring enough??? 

It’s hard not to get caught up in the Parenting Olympics, competing to see who has the best surprise face when their kid hands them a construction paper heart. 

And of course I’m probably gonna post my kids adorable little faces. Seriously, I’m not knocking anyone who does. But I find that I need to remind myself that it’s not a competition and I don’t need to be a perfect mom to be a really frickin good one. Nor do I need to go on a guilt trip down memory lane.

So, I’ll drop the lines I’ve been telling myself for all the mommas reading this right now: Your job is to be a Happy Mommy. Happy doesn’t mean rich and it doesn’t mean perfect. You get to define what that looks like and how to get there. 

Just like anything in life, motherhood is what you make it. And Mama, you deserve to make it as happy as possible! 

Having kids is a crazy journey, and I commend you for making it this far without putting them up for adoption (the thought has crossed my mind more than you know). Just know, that if for any reason you don’t feel like a Happy Mommy yet, there’s ways to get there. I’ve spent Mother’s Day as a very burnout, miserable mom in the past. But no more of that for me and no more for you either!

Having a Happy Mother’s Day doesn’t mean getting it all right or living an Instagrammable life. For me, it’s looking around at what you’ve got, challenges and all, and thinking “Yep. This is good. I want this.” 

That’s joy. And if you’re struggling to find it in your life, reach out to me. I promise, it’s there, just waiting for you to claim it – any day of the year, not just today.

Errin Weisman, DO is a life coach, speaker and fierce advocate for wellness in medicine. She faced professional burnout early in her career and speaks openly about about her story in order to help others, particularly female physicians and working moms, know they are not alone. Dr. Weisman wholeheartedly believes to be a healer, you must first fill your own cup. She lives and practices in rural Southwestern Indiana, loves her roles as farmer’s wife, athlete and mother of three. You can find out more about Dr. Weisman on her podcast “Doctor Me First,” her website or hang out with her on social media @truthrxs.